A Garden and a Pathway

The visiting hours here at the zoo have been shortened due to maintenance. Me, the kids, the house, their school, my school and Mr. Zookeeper doing a lot of traveling- sometimes we just have to close our doors and get our work done. But, I am happy to announce that we are back and better than ever.

In my spare time (insert outrageous laughter) I have been working on my latest project. Last year I had to choose a creative arts class for my generals. One of the few offered online was landscape architecture. I mow my own lawn so figured this was a class I could something out of. Not only did I learn that a garden comes in many names and eras but also that I could rip up my entire backyard and build one there. So I did. Hey, I am not one to cut corners- we go big or stay home. I got out my pencil and paper and began drawing up the scope of my yard. I considered what spaces would be used and how we could utilize every space better. I am all about form and function- and with crazy animals stomping the grounds; form usually loses out to function.

Not this time!

With my new found knowledge and a caring, loving extremely supportive husband (LOVE YOU HON!) I started moving bricks around. Form would be easy, A 1/4 of the yard would be a giant sandbox housing the trampoline, swing-set, slide and dinosaur... yes, we have a climbable triceratops made from foam and stucco that stands about 4 ft high and 5 ft long- it's awesome. The center of the yard would remain grass and there would be loads of bushes, plants and flowers to entertain the senses. Now for the kicker. I have children who like to walk in circles talking to themselves (I take full responsibility for making and raising them)... enter FUNCTION.

The entire backyard is lined with a pathway. It curves around trees and flower beds so the kids have somewhere to go and I even built a hill for variation.  I walked it out- I wear a size nine so slightly bigger steps and I'd have a full foot, right?  200 ft is what I measured. We started this monstrosity last spring and decided to use minimum funds and maximize our freebies (brilliant, I know) Usually, less funds means more work. And that's exactly what it has cost me. Mr. Zookeeper had access to a dumpster full of broken, left over granite. I emptied the trailer and got started. I laid about 50 ft and realized I was in way over my head. Of course, I couldn't complain... I still got those eyes that said, "hey, don't look at me you're the crazy one with the idea!" I just trudged on knowing that my brilliance would one day kill me and this could very well be the end.

While out at Women's conference, I got a call that if I were to get a giant hole, where would I want that to go? I came home to find Mr. Zookeeper playing outside with a backhoe. Cool. He's turned to the darkside and I was getting the trampoline in the ground. (this has saved many lives) We decided to save money here too so naturally it took a long time to complete- fortunately I didn't ask for that part so I was able to roll my eyes every time Mr. Zookeeper got frustrated and just give the look of, "hey, don't look at me you're the crazy one with the idea!"

The trampoline was in and the sand arrived. We moved the dinosaur into place and pretty much became the coolest parents ever. Well, for a day anyway.  We had a drainage issue by the garden so we had to address that but did get the planter box in and a garden growing. Then, the mosquitoes and heat came and I was forced to retire.

Spring came early this year and I set back to work. This time we decided to reinforce the granite with cement. I ripped up the 50 ft I already had done (not without whining and begging) and agreed the new way would be better... in spite of my protest and genius ideas to work around it.  Mr. Zookeeper is more accurate than I am. I usually guess and hope for the best then whine when things don't work out. He, however, measures and does it right the first time. I walked off about 200 ft... yeah, it measured more like 420 ft. Luckily for me, Mr. Zookeeper is wonderful and only laughed at me. I think he is still laughing actually.

I am now 300 ft into a finished pathway- of course that's with me walking it off so it could be anywhere between 100-400 ft completed. Mr. Zookeeper has not yet sold me to the gypsies and the yard is coming along. The kids are no help- at all. Rhino stands by telling me what animals are the best diggers as I'm knee high in ditch drenched in sweat holding a shovel. Tiger destroys the house while I'm covered in cement and can't do anything about it and Monkey insists I stop every 5 minutes and explain what I'm doing. Puppy turns the water on and off so she's off the hook- but they all yell at me for being outside too long and then yell at me for not being done yet!

They do love it though. My function is already starting to serve its purpose with endless circles and jumping and digging. It is fun to watch the kids enjoy their space- even if it is slow coming.

I lost a few trees last year to a curious Tiger so we replaced them in the fall and I'm happy to report that they are all still alive! One tree may not make it- it appears the dog has been urinating at it so it's struggling to breathe. The girls have helped me plant flowers and we are enjoying the little projects of making it all our own. We added a 10 ft alligator to the sandbox and a mushroom. I hope to be able to put in my honeysuckle tunnel, climbing art and rose bushes but will be ecstatic with just getting that pathway done. For mother's day, I got the fire-pit paved and 20 more feet of pathway.... and for how much I'm spending in concrete- I may be getting a pathway as presents for the rest my life. The granite does look nice- in fact my pathway will probably cost more than my house if you totaled it all up but I try not to dwell on that- for sanity purposes.

I was just out this morning enjoying the spring breeze and breathing better knowing that after a lot of work- a LOT of work- it is all finally coming together. I fantasize about taking a picture and sending it to my professor- how dare he give me a B, I bet I'm the only one who actually used the information, that should count as some awesome extra credit or something. But, I'm not doing it for him or a grade (unless he really can change my grade- then I'll entertain the possibilities). I'm doing it to make my kids more comfortable. This is our home and we should want to spend more time here than anywhere else. So, we are creating a space that we can all enjoy.

I have learned a lot about measuring and big ideas and frugal labor. All three things that have been engraved in my "crazy lady" box of memories.

I am much stronger for it though; I have carried and mixed over 1000 lbs of concrete and laid tons of granite pieces. I have dug trenches and buried holes. I am like a sunburned version of the incredible hulk, only without the whole naked thing. I have moved mountains, literally and it has given me new found abilities. Mr. Zookeeper has been a huge support. He has helped a lot when he can but let's face it, someone has to go to work to pay for my brilliant ideas. He has shown me what to do in his absence and trusted in me- in spite of my measuring skills.

As I have worked and sweated and dropped granite pieces on my precious toes; I was reminded of the constant pathway I am building not only for my children, but in my children. I have dreams for them and sometimes they seem outrageous. They take a lot of work and a lot more time. It's not about how far I still have to go, but how far I've already come. There will be obstacles and sweat and many times I'll have to call it a day, but the sun always rises and opportunity is waiting the next morning. Whether I pay someone to help me or do the work myself, the work still needs to be done. There will be twists, turns and hills to cover but the finished product will be magnificent and I can stand at the end of the day and say, "I did it! I survived and it's beautiful."

My children are beautiful. They are my world and ultimately we will all survive their childhood- eventually. I would do anything for them, even re-design the backyard if it means they will be happy and one step closer to their potential. I am learning more about myself as I serve them.  I am grateful for crazy ideas and trust to do big things. Even though we think of ourselves as simple and weak, our Heavenly Father knows we are builders. I may not have a garden for the whole world to see and study in landscape architecture, but I have my own piece of the world that is beautiful just for my family alone. Just one piece of granite at a time and I'll have a 420 ft pathway. And just one seed at a time and I'll have a lush garden. My children are my seeds and every moment shared is another piece of our journey paved toward forever. Which reminds me. I must now take action with a certain tree. It turns out, the dog isn't the one that has been peeing on it...

Zookeeper for a Day

As one might imagine, I have a rather difficult time finding babysitters for my wild animals. Fire and knives aren't for everyone, I get it but alas, everyone needs a break- even super duper cool moms. I have a few Good Samaritans that always come to my rescue and I am very blessed to have them in my life. There is always someone there in case of an emergency and for that I am grateful. The trouble I have is the occasional need for a date night. Having special needs children can take its toll on the parent, the family and the marriage. All couples need time alone and couples who share poop duty for more years than originally contracted need extra time away.

Occasionally, I just like to have a good time with my other half without having to carry someone on my shoulders just to walk alongside him.  Other times, I need to be whisked away and reminded that while I spend my days speaking foreign languages, crawling around rubbing my knees raw and shoveling the clean up, I am still a woman and I can behave like one. Heck, I can even comb my hair and have a clean shirt for more than five minutes! For moms like me- we consider a hot meal, eaten while it's still hot right up there with the honeymoon. Add someone else to do the dishes and we've been proposed to all over again.

I won't lament over the struggles I've encountered in securing sitters. Oh wait, yes I will. Not to complain but just to keep things real. The younger ones are barely older than my Rhino (awkward first date, hey how'd you guys meet? Oh, she was my babysitter... ) and the older ones who can take a hit usually have lives of their own and laugh in the face of my meager offering. And let''s face it, you can't leave your greatest treasures with just anyone. Now if the fire department offered babysitting- I'd be all set.

I'm thinking the Jetson's had it all figured out. If Rosie the Robot ever came out on the market, I'd be all over that like ketchup on fries. Maybe even Alice from the Brady Bunch. She could do the cooking, cleaning and occasional tending while I wore stylish clothes and worried about what child didn't make it in the school play.
An extra few hands would always be helpful, especially if it was written in the script when they helped and when they left you alone. Truth is, I don't want a live-in anything. I just want to be able to date my husband!

So, I'm going down the list of victims and running into roadblocks. I finally reach a number where everyone is actually at home and two sitters are available, though one is a little timid of Tigers and Rhinos. Success is had and I can plan my date night. But first, I must go clean the floor.  Oh, the irony. Whilst I was on the phone enticing a brave soul to be zookeeper for a day, Tiger was in the pantry filling his shirt up with sugar... while he was still wearing it. I'm not quite sure what thrill he was going for there but now we all know that 15 lbs of sugar is about how much it takes to completely fill two sleeves. But like I was saying, I just don't understand why I have a hard time getting babysitters...

A Rhino, a Nest and a Fork...

Since he was old enough to grip his fingers, Rhino has been holding wooden spoons, sticks and sprinkler parts. They are his favorite...toys? He likes them long, but not too long. Short but not too short and his favored concoction is a cut PVC pipe, slanted at one end and a yellow sprinkler stake sticking out the other end. He never leaves home without his stick and over the years he has replaced, added to and improvised with his collection.

His latest invention had no designated function but he says it could be a back scratcher- if I wanted to use it. A simple stick with a fork taped to the end of it, Rhino has developed a new line of eating utensils for any giant's needs.

I am happy to let Rhino use his imagination. Though I don't always understand what his purposes for them are and will probably never get the same thrill from collecting sticks and watching them move slowly past my eyes; I love watching him think.

Over the last few years, Rhino has used Mr. Zookeeper as his means of factory worker. When there is  stick to be made, an hour does not pass that Rhino, being ever so patient, doesn't walk past. Barely making eye contact and wiggling the stick in his fingers, Rhino does not allow Mr. Zookeeper to forget he has a job to do. Recently, I showed Rhino how to use a hand saw. I started the cutting and held the pipe while he finished it. (Side note:  if anyone is wanting to teach a child how to use a hand saw, PVC pipe is the best because the middle is hollow and so they get through it quicker.) After few minutes, Rhino was wearing a new face that could be labeled satisfaction and new found pride. Naturally, I had to buy a lot more piping to feed the new talent. I gradually backed off on how much assistance I provided and surprised, Rhino says, "Geez, cutting takes time and it's hard work!"  Yeah, we've been trying to tell him that for years as he nonchalantly walked past our bedroom reminding us of our duties.

Naturally, after that first pipe got severed- Paul Bunyan was re-born. Literally. Rhino suggested that he could be the next Paul Bunyan because he was so good at cutting things. I suggested he talk less and pay more attention so that I didn't have to become the next Florence Nightingale!

With Rhino meeting one more of his own needs and the other kids just happy to play in the sunshine, it was time for me to get to work. The said children playing in the sunshine were content to do so in nothing but their underwear but I, along with the neighbors, object. With school coming to an end for the year, I too finished up another semester of my own schooling. Finals week (2 of them), with the addition of a traveling husband, strep throat and Women's Conference was a busy time. My pile of laundry was so high that I considered taking pictures and charging admission to see the next wonder of the world. I contemplated carving out faces, it worked for Mt. Rushmore but Tiger insisted it made a much better jungle/ landing pad/ sand box/ nest.

Speaking of nests, my old nemesis was back. It usually takes me a couple of loads to discover that my dryer is just not drying right. Maybe it's because I'm prone to over load the dryer in attempts to get done sooner or that I am buzzing by so quickly that I scarcely remember even pushing the start button- but after a few loads, I know it's not just me! Or at least that is what I keep telling myself!

With Mr. Zookeeper home from out of town work- I took cues from Rhino and constantly walked past Mr. Zookeeper mentioning that surely there must be yet another bird making a nest in my dryer duct and "someone" needed to get a ladder and pull the thing out. After running out of laundry himself and nearly being forced to play outside in his underwear, Mr. Zookeeper grabbed his ladder and utensils to play animal rescue. Sure enough, after mounds of straw, lint, feathers and who knows what that green stuff was, Mr. Zookeeper pulled out four- no make that three- eggs. Tiger helped so then there were two. Puppy made a new nest for the eggs and carefully Mr. Zookeeper placed them in their new safe place. Unfortunately, Tiger can climb trees. Puppy was distraught, so I let her help me fold laundry.

Fast forward one week.

Finally getting some check marks on my to do list, I begin to grin with the pride that comes from tackling major chores. Then, my laundry started slowing me down, again. Mr. Zookeeper had mentioned there was parts of the nest he couldn't reach and I knew this must be the culprit. I could hear theme music play as I envisioned the mother bird throwing back her head in a villainous hackle, knowing she had gotten the last laugh. I couldn't stand the thought of defeat but even more so I feared the repercussions. One load today turns into two tomorrow and before you know it, I have lost the battle and we are forever swimming through dumped out baskets (thank you Tiger) of clothes never again knowing which ones are clean and which ones are not! And not all of us look as good naked as Tigers and Monkeys do.

I had to act. But wait, Mr. Zookeeper was out town!  I could wait until he returned or I could take matter into my hands. I am afraid of heights so climbing a seven foot ladder definitely deserved some theme music for my heroic efforts. I put on my gloves (I can do a lot more things with gloves on) and assessed the situation. Sure enough, the nest was not completely dissolved. But how would I reach it? Mr. Zookeeper has longer arms and actually stood up tall on the ladder where I was bent over holding on to dear life with only a puppy holding my ladder for stability. I hung my head in despair (and to stop my phobia from painting the picture of me plunging to to my death) but refused to give up. "Come on Mom," Puppy chanted, "we can do it!"  Easy for her to say, she was safe on the ground!

Monkey quickly brought out every utensil and tool from the kitchen (hence why my house is an ever evolving cleaning classroom) and we shoved, dug and made grunting noises trying to reach the blockage. Then, we saw it. It might have been the glare of the sun on the air conditioning unit but I saw it as an answer from above... or below. What we needed was a stick- but not just any stick, we needed a stick with a fork on the end of it!

Rhino quickly rose to the challenge and within minutes we had slayed the giant, freed the laundry from bondage and saved all of the neighborhood from having to witness our embarrassing battle or lack of wardrobe changes. Indeed, Rhino's inventions have finally paid off! So, while most people stock up on the perfect detergents and snugly softeners, we'll be adding a stick and fork to our list of laundry essentials. I suggested we call it the Dryer Nest Abolitionist but Rhino prefers FORKINATOR. He insisted it was all Caps- because his teacher told him that adds a strong voice, and you can't say FORKINATOR with a sissy voice any more than you can clean out a dryer vent ten feet in the air without theme music.

Maybe some day you'll see Rhino's inventions on infomercials and all of the long hours of sawing and searching for my stolen forks will pay for our extensive ketchup bill. But for now I'll keep these little treasures for myself (and my cleaning closet). Besides, I need to get some laundry done before booking any appearances on the Home Shopping Network...