We have a lot of supernatural powers running through our house. While I have always noticed it in my spectacular one in a million children, I just recently realized that I, too, have an additional talent.
I always knew I could scare monsters out of closets and from underneath beds. I was schooled in my abilities to run faster than Flash Gordon himself when the need would arise. I have learned to speak fact and Barbie and puppy. I know how to whip up nine different meals in under thirty minutes and me and my sidekick, Rug Doctor make a powerful duo.
What I didn't know was that my whole life I have been a shape shifter.
I just finished a quaint little story that involved a gate keeper named Amos. Typically, he was a large muscular man but when the situation got heated, he shape shifted into a bear- and the larger the fury the larger the bear.
This is the point where we all reflect on the many times that we have shown our much hairier, perhaps more beastly side. I myself have many. Some I laugh at, others I duck and cover from.
The trick to my power is that I can shape shift into whatever is expected of me. Perhaps rather than turning into a ferocious bear, I would be better recognized as a chameleon.
This has often worked well for me. I know who I am, I have my morals and beliefs but I avoid confrontation like the plague and find it easier to blend than to stand out- unless I am walking through Wal-Mart with all four kids and someone happens to get upset. Then, I prefer to stand out- BIG TIME.
Now, this post can be read many different ways and interpreted into even more. Really, it is just about self discovery and being comfortable in my own skin.
I used to think that I had to be more like Jane and be more assertive, maybe even just showing up and start cleaning someone's bathroom against their protest because it was for the greater good of mankind. I needed to be more like Sue and always have my kids properly and cutely dressed as opposed to just feeling accomplished that everyone had on clean underwear, or underwear at all. (And by the way, my kids are never dressed like little Catalog models- I just feel like they should be when I'm around Sue). I beat myself up because I couldn't always say what I wanted the way that Betty did. For the record, I do not know a Jane, Sue or Betty specifically, but there are many wonderful women whom I admire that can fit into some of these boots, high heals and running shoes.
Then, something wonderful happened. I got tired. I could no longer hold back the tears and my emotion took over. I didn't speak boldly or matter of factually but I spoke straight from the heart. I was sitting in an IEP meeting (Individual Education Plan- for Special Education) and I knew what I wanted to say but I couldn't find the right tone or voice. I was trying to channel Jane because she told me exactly what I needed to say, even though her advice was unsolicited. I tried to appear like Sue and Betty's knowledge and forthcoming just wasn't getting transmitted. All of the sudden, it was me speaking. I felt vulnerable and honest and confused and I know I was rambling! And do you know what? I was heard. Not so much the rambling part, but my intent was heard along with all of my emotion. The feeling and direction of the meeting took a direct change and we all left feeling like we had actually accomplished something. I was even thanked!
I am soft, gentle, strange, weird, loud at times and silly. I like to swing at the park, not just push my kids- and I have taught them how much fun it is to give mommy a push or boost when her post baby legs don't work so well. I am smart yet timid with things I don't understand. I like to dance. I enjoy hot cocoa and ice cream. I enjoy calculated risk and adventure. I love a good cheesy chick flick and cannot stand the least bit of violence- it gives me nightmares. I hold tightly to my beliefs but am not good at sharing them amongst opposition. I can talk to anyone when I feel comfortable and actually want to talk. I like being alone and I like being with others. I am most comfortable in jeans and a t shirt and I like to shop at thrift stores to get more for my money. I care a great deal about my hair and do not like to empty the dishwasher. I am an avid learner and I rarely, very rarely ever stop talking!
So, what I want to tell you, my sons and daughters (literally- I write this blog for my kids to read because my journal is off limits until I'm dead) is that it is OK to be yourself. Learn who you are and accept it. It will work for you better than you ever imagined. Rhino- you talk in facts. Go with it buddy! There are tons of educated people out there looking for some good conversation and the rest of all enjoy learning from you because you are so much more animated than the encyclopedia. Tiger- you are already know and own it. Nobody can ever touch your style and personality because you won't let them. You are an example to me, though I do believe the world would appreciate me keeping my clothes on. Puppy- You are a natural leader and empathizer- I totally just made that word up- but your are! Do not be afraid to be who you are. When you are scared- share it and when you are happy- share it. You do not need to live in any one else's shadow because you have a light all your own. Monkey- you know you look good, don't ever let anyone tell you that pink cannot go with any color. You are stubborn and decisive. Recognize it but don't apologize for it. It is that same attitude that helped save your life at birth. You are a rockstar, don't be afraid of your power.
To all of my children, find out your own unique gifts and unwrap them. Use them and wear them out. Use your talents to bless your life and the lives of others. Be good and remember who are a child of God. Be humble and ever learning but only shape shift as you desire, not because you are desperate to blend in. It is a blessing and a pleasure to be your mother and to watch you on your road to discovery. I am not perfect and occasionally try to mold you into my ideal but fortunately our Heavenly Father knows better and blessed you with talents of your own. I am realizing that I don't want you to think like I do or simply do as I do (unless you are doing the laundry in which case jump in), I want you to learn how to think for yourself and the best way to do that is to know your strengths and weaknesses. I want you to shape shift into the best possible you because there is great freedom in being exactly who you are...
