The animals in this park love a good joke so naturally April Fools' Day is a much anticipated event. I, being the master prankster in their eyes have had to up my game however in the last few years. Kids are so much easier to trick when they are young and still get a kick out of a whoopee cushion whether it's hidden or not.
This year I have been busy with things like school, homeschool, renovating the downstairs, eating therapy- you know, tiny little things. I knew I couldn't skip out, life is no excuse so I began racking the brain on how to get the wild animals to embrace their hyena side.
After the kids went to bed, I went to work pranking and ended by drawing a stylish mustache on Rhino's face. He looked awesome but the flash was waking him up and the picture was too dark otherwise so you'll just have to take my word for it.
I slept restless all night long afraid of the kids waking before me in full on war or Rhino seeking out revenge. I heard a body move towards my bathroom so I knew it was time to get up or become a sitting duck. As I entered the bathroom, I found my mirror had been covered in something... green... and... slimy. I didn't even want to know! So I just grabbed a rag, wiped it up and went to the kitchen where Puppy was smiling from ear to ear.
Realizing Rhino and Monkey were still asleep (I silently gasped in exhaustion that I could have slept in), I grabbed my phone and headed to the bedroom for my surprise attack on Rhino- "Wakey, Wakey!" I had my camera ready for the shot the second it happened only to find the less than graceful land animal had eventually slept face first and wiped off everything but a smudge of teh once awesome mustache. FOOLED BY MY OWN DOING! Drats!
Monkey is the easiest. I usually prank her breakfast and she falls for it every time. Last year it was frozen pancakes, the year before that it was frozen cereal complete with the stuck spoon. I do not claim to take authorship for these ideas, I merely piggyback on teh geniuses who have come before me. This year she watched me pour her spontaneously chosen cereal into a bowl and I even allowed her to pour the milk. Much to her surprise, as she spilled her bowl (because that happens at every meal) she discovered green milk splashing on the table. Thank you to whomever decided a tiny drop of food coloring under dry cereal was the perfect start to a joke. We laughed and I went back to homework.
Puppy chose not to eat breakfast and was creeping around all morning- you would have thought I had used fireworks in the past for how skeptical she was.
Rhino have himself away before he could even speak. "Mom- you'd better go see what's on your mirror..."
Toothpaste. Where was the rag again?
"Hahaha- you got me!"
Puppy was also laughing and in attempt to whisper (but failing) she said, "I put it there".
"No, I did- it was toothpaste. " He then grabs his stomach and becomes red in the face from laughing so hard. Puppy, not knowing I had wiped off her previous prank was very confused.
I had some tests due so the kids went about their work while I went about mine. I used my absence as an opportunity and in apologizing for my preoccupation, suggested they could have the snacks and such I had originally saved. Monkey wasn't waiting for a formal invitation- she popped open her pre-packaged snack size cup of chocolate chip cookies only to find I replaced them with peanuts. "MOM!" Win! And of course I gave her the cookies and stole the peanuts for myself.
A few hours passed and Rhino asked about lunch. I reluctantly agreed to allow him to have the giant can of Spaghetti o's all to himself. He opened the can and gasped in horror. I burst out into laughter and shouted April Fool's! To which he complained that the can was only half full. This I knew however that was not my joke (just a bonus) he went on and on about how I emptied half of the can without ever opening it. I just stared in silence- this was better than I had planned. He finally came off of his amazement/disgust with a half filled can of Spaghetti O's and dumped them into the pan- "What!? You have got to be KIDDING me! Come on!" He was giggling along with the rest of us but there was a very serious annotation that there had better be something better for him to eat than the pork and beans that lay before him. Knowing Rhino takes his food just as seriously as his jokes- I hurriedly produced the bag of O's I had removed the night before and he was only slightly annoyed that they were frozen.
Puppy was eagerly looking on.
Tiger was heading for his fifth donut of the day. He only takes one or two bites out of them and puts them back- it's kind of like a prank that he doesn't know he's doing, never stops and no one finds funny. Sometimes he even puts the chewed up pieces back for us so that's always fun. Seeing Rhino flair over the prospect of not getting his proportion of the baker's dozen, I intercepted by offering Tiger a choice of BBQ or potato chips. He thought he was hilarious by taking both snack size bags from my hand and possessing both. I shrugged my shoulders and turned to walk away (had to hide my smile somehow). "What?" All of the kids raced to his side to discover BBQ chips inside of the plain potato chips bag. He quickly opened the other bag to find they had been switched. Rhino and Puppy had to explain to him what happened because he was sure witchcraft had been involved. "Mom, you tricked me!" and then forcing a laugh, "That is funny- I am laughing so hard."
"Mom, you still haven't pranked me yet..."
Puppy is a thinker. I knew that if I had swapped out her food she would know it and choose something else to eat for lunch thus foiling my plans. So I did nothing of the sorts- sort of. She loves popcorn so I knew at one point she'd agree to having some. Like a moth to the flame I said, "Hey- how about you make some popcorn?"
"Mom, where is my popcorn!" Her eyes were lit up, her face was stretched and her hands held nothing but packs of hot cocoa mix.
Cue evil laugh.
"Clean the top drawer and I'll tell you where it is."
"Just tell me-"
"Not until you clean out the drawer from your leprachaun trap-"
"That's not fair." (cue the mom eyebrows) "Fine." "MOM!!!"
"April's Fools!"
It's teh simple every day things that make being a mom worth it. Sometime sit gets tiring- especially when it's exhausting but to see their faces light up is so great. Homeschooling makes me their warden on many levels so it's important to let them also see my fun side. So, it turns out hot glue does not stick to tin cans because it cools too fast (on the first or sixth try) so just use superglue the first time. The glue gun is fine for replacing the bottom of the chocolate chips cookie cup- good job, mom. Hot glue on a chip bag stays hot for several seconds no matter how many times you burn yourself trying to get the bag shut. Popcorn is easy bait for puppies and apparently in this zoo, anything on the mirror is absolutely hilarious...
