The Cape is in the Wash...

The "Supermom" cape is in the wash, and today, I am just "Zookeeper".

Sometimes we all just need a break. I try very hard to please everyone around me and end up crying over instant chat to a loving husband that learned a long time ago the beneifts of instant chat versus random choked up phone calls. I work hard for my family and usually put myself last; yes, I am one of those that the flight attendant stares down when demonstrating the need and process of putting your own oxygen mask on first and then attempting to help the child.

I don't have a lot of choice in the matter. Most times my services are needed immediately. I have three difficult children and one that I have to be careful to not make pick up all the slack. Hand over hand is required for most daily events from dressing to making a bed to eating to flushing to talking and "hold on a minute" only lasts so long. Stop for too much longer than a minute and I find matters taken into their own hands- which is a very good step in independence but usually not very helpful for my to-do list.

Perhaps it's the late nights with one and early morning with another. Sleep is something I've dreamed about for a while now and hope to reunite with on a constant basis. Messes on the floors, walls and ceilings- in all colors of the rainbow... and one additional color that isn't in the rainbow but resembles the mud that appears under a rainbow if you know what I mean. Rug Doctor folks- Rug Doctor... Cleans up #1 and #2...especially the #2.

Disgusting? Yes it is. Exhausting? Yes- that too but I learned a long time ago that being a housewife and mother involved a lot more than baking cookies (although those are still requirements). I wouldn't trade it for anything... well maybe a little less #2 everywhere for sanity and sanitation purposes but really, I love what I do and even enjoy the challenges that I'm strengthened to fight against. Nevertheless, all of that super- stuff takes it toll on the cape and occasionally it needs to be removed and sent for a good cleaning.

It's always hard to take off the cape, humbling really, to know that while you try your hardest- you are still human and need to rely on a higher power than your own. Indeed, it is difficult to remove and the more it's used the harder it is to get clean. Sometimes we have to ask others to do some saving while we wash up but it feels so good to have that burden lifted; even if it's only a quick cycle and tumble dry. Putting on a fresh cape, especially when you had time to use softener, gives that renewed feeling of freshness and saving the world (or at least a small portion of it) becomes a little bit easier.

For some reason we become afraid to remove the cape to give it the cleaning it needs. I guess we all fear we might be the only supers left but I bet if we took off our own cape for a while, we might notice a few others flying around too. If we coordinate, we can take turns and thus get more use out of capes in between washes. Heaven forbid we all run out of pixie dust and have to wash at the same time- the world would go into chaos mode and all of the animals in it would go wild!

While I do what I can and constantly try to improve what I can't do so well, I still acknowledge the limit of my superpowers. Don't for a second think I have stopped believing that good will always overpower evil (after-all, I will still have my trusty sidekick Rug Doctor). Just know that under the not-so-great fitting body suit (IMAGES) and amazing stretch abilities (MORE IMAGES)- I, like every other woman just need to take a minute to apply my own oxygen mask and then I'll be right back to save you.

So, if on occasion you see me grounded- don't give up hope in the greater good- the cape is just in the wash...

pUppY's HiGH fiVE!

Like every child with a puppy- you bring me so much joy!

Puppy- I cannot believe you are five today! Not for the regular reasons of you've grown so much but because you've always been so grown up. You were born ready to take care of your family and to be the heart of our lives. I can't believe that you are ONLY five- that in just five short years you have made such a difference in my life and in the life of your siblings.

I was so excited to find out I was going to have a little girl. I love my boys but there is a special bond that a mother shares with her daughters and I was blessed to get to have that. I always knew you were something special... you helped me out even before you were born; I guess you knew what what was in store for you coming to this family.

I waited all night for you to get here (ALL night) and bright and early- 6:45 am you were born. Of course I didn't get to see you right away but it didn't take long and our bond became complete as I held you in my arms. I will always treasure those days we spent in the hospital together because Puppy- that was the first and only one of the few times it was all about you. We got home and you immediately started helping me with your brothers. You didn't get the mommy attention that most babies get but you never complained. Selfless from the beginning you let me help Rhino and Tiger as much as I needed to and always had a smile waiting for me. Once you were able to join in, you became my respite. You gave Tiger what nobody else could give him and that was a friend. You are what kept him from a total regression and although he lost the ability to say all other words and interact- he never lost your name- baby- and never turned away from you. We have always known (and been promised) That Tiger would have angels about him... and one of them comes in the form of a sweet little blue eyed, curly brown haired puppy that I get to squeeze and love every day.

You are so tough. Not just because you can swing a sword or collect more dirt than even a bulldozer but because you live according to your heart. You have taken hit after hit from every one of your siblings (first Tiger and now Monkey) but you still manage to take it with stride. You are first to obey, help and teach and I appreciate you so much.

You are so simple. Jeans and a t-shirt gets you ready for the day and while dolls and dress up mean very little, your puppies are everything. Just as you do for us- you are always busy taking care of them and love it! You are always in service of someone (or something) else. I have come to depend on you so much- you are my right hand and sometimes my right leg too! I expect a lot out of you, and sometimes I'm tough but it's because I know you are up to the challenge and though I can't give you every minute you deserve- I want the best for you. You have not reserved your friendship for others- at only five years old you have become one of my best friends as well. You may look like your dad and get all of your beautiful (inside and out) qualities from him but we have a few things in common. Emotional diarrhea for one :)We both care so much about others that sometimes we become victims of our own thoughts and fears- we'll help each other with that... and in the meantime we'll continue to spend countless hours together in the kitchen (all for the love of creation and licking brownie batter off of spoons). We'll read lots of stories, sing all of our favorite songs, learn about any and everything and dance, dance, dance and then dance some more!

I've never seen a child who loves chicken noodle soup as much as you do and you've chosen mash potatoes and gravy as your special birthday dinner... which proves the fact that you are your daddy's girl. You have never complained about any of your presents (or lack thereof in hard times) and so this year I wanted you to know just how much you really are loved. We took the family to Monkey Island where you guys bounced and jumped and ran your little hearts out. You never complain about the boyish hand-me-downs and even use them before they get officially passed but you said that more than anything- you wanted a princess bike to ride. I always chuckle when you say that because you prefer knights over princesses and blue over pink but you are a princess- a true daughter worthy of a crown and so this year we got you your very own bike to ride... and it's pink and blue with princesses on it (there's a carrying basket for you to take your puppies along and you'll still have to use your brother's helmet). Naturally- you wanted a birthday cake decorated as a puppy and when I suggested you choose something different this year you requested a dog house. That's my girl.

You have done so much for our little world in just five years that I can only imagine the good you'll do for the great big world for the next ninety- eight years (because we're going to live to be 103- right?!?) The classic movie says that every time a bell rings an angel gets her wings. I can't testify to the truth of that but there is a little bell on your new bike and I guarantee every time I hear that bell ring- it will be because an angel is in flight. I love you so much Puppy- you bring me so much joy and happiness and I am so blessed to be able to call myself your mom! Thank you for being a piece of heaven on earth and for sharing your halo with me. High Five Puppy for all that are you and Happy Happy Birthday!

Nurturing and the Bigger Picture

The wild is full of amazement, joys and fears. Watching the nature channel keeps you on the edge of your seat because you never know when the peaceful scene will quickly turn to a tragedy. One minute Bambi's grazing with his mother and the next thing we know- the music gets louder, birds start flying and we find ourselves answering kids' questions while trying to hold back our own choked up tears (or maybe I'm the only one who still cries through cartoons).

Yet, we can't stay away. There is something about nature that just calls to us. Perhaps it's my calling in my life; but I am drawn to the instincts and abilities that mothers of the wild possess. Most of them, excluding of course the ones that eat their young, spend their whole lives carrying their children- and when they're done with one set- they begin another.

Everyone knows that where there is a baby cub- a mama may not be too far behind. When an elephant is born- he becomes the responsibility of the whole herd; some mothers work together while others work alone but every one dedicates her life for that time to bringing up and teaching her offspring everything they need to know for survival.

The mother has a unique way with her children. She generally pushes them within minutes to hours of being born to get moving- even though she herself just suffered a great ordeal; she knows that his survival depends on it. Out of a hundred lambs, a mother can find her baby. Upon being born- one of the first things the mother does is smell her baby- through this, mother and baby can recognize each other. Birds use sounds- each mother has a unique call. Regardless of how we communicate; mothers begin nurturing their young while still in the womb.

A lioness is responsible for feeding the pack while nurturing the young. Mothers of the wild will not only feed and protect their young but will teach them what they need to know in case she can't always be around. Most of this is done out of instinct but does that mean the mother feels no pain, no loss no fear regarding life? The experienced mother knows she can't take care of her young without first taking care of herself but is that always an easy decision when provisions are scarce?

We are strong mothers and women but we are still females. We were born to nurture so is it any wonder that we have tender feelings? These emotions are what make us strong and bring us great joy but when pulled too tightly- they are also what brings us the most pain.

Just because you did not hear or see the tree fall doesn't mean it's still standing and just because you did not hear or see her cry doesn't mean the mother isn't having trouble standing either.

The captain of a ship must show confidence and leadership at all times in order to maintain the hearts of the crew. He must go forward with resolve and determination so that those following him will give it their all. Yet, this same captain prays every night for direction and every morning for strength.

We all have jobs to do and lives to live. We cannot neglect our own duties to fulfill someone else's but if we can acknowledge that though we are different, we are all mothers and women with a unique purpose; We are born to nurture our children, ourselves and each other.

Sometimes we set our minds on "pause and replay"; we watch the scenes we want to watch and stop them right as the music gets louder and birds start to fly. We assume that if we never look for the rest of the story it does not happen. Or, we might watch the unpleasant scenes but put the sound on mute. Ever wonder why lionesses live and hunt in packs? She needs help. Even the queen of them all joins in the ranks of child bearing, nurturing and caring for the welfare of all because she is susceptible to the same fate as the rest of them.

Just because she appears strong does not exclude her from weaknesses and just because she is always there for others doesn't make her immune from occasionally needing help herself.

We often get so busy working toward our own survival that we forget others might be injured and need our help. No one can be blamed; it's hard to hear a call for help over the sound of our own calls- we all need after all but we must take time out of every day to stop thinking about our own welfare- even if just for a minute to see if there someone who is in greater danger than we are at that moment. Moreover, if we truly need help- we must call out- louder and louder if need be until help arrives for it is difficult to hear the faint cries over the sounds of the jungle all around us. We cannot expect someone to carry us if we consistently insist we can manage but if her leg is clearly injured- perhaps she could, at the very least enjoy your company as she walks a little slower until she can heal.

Sometimes the most important cries are the ones we can't hear with our ears.

It is a true blessing to be a woman- to be given the divine qualities to care and to nurture. We are blessed to nurture and so we are expected to do so. It requires a unique balance as we juggle the needs of ourselves, the needs of those dependent on us and the needs of those just passing by. When we struggle with that balance we seem to be working on rewind, fast forward and pause all at the same time but when we can push play and see the big picture- we have the opportunity to become a part of a classic story with an ultimate happy ending.

Camouflage

Touring through the zoo you can pretty much tell which animal is which. Some because of their longs necks or trunks and others because the sign tells you so. But some species you have to take a closer look. Cats for example, all look similar but an easy way to identify the differences are their coats. We all know when we see a cheetah print even if it's not being worn by the animal anymore!

We also learn the importance of the coloring of animals for disguise and ultimately survival. Without their fur their frozen and without their camouflage they're revealed for what they really are.

I've compared my kiddos to wild animals in many ways but this is one instance where there is little comparison. Nakedness is common in the wild so we would still fit in but I like to think of every animal having some sort of covering. I never initiated any formal rule but apparently for the kids in this jungle, proper clothing- if any at all is optional.

I remember my baby shower where everything was cute and orderly. Highly misleading I tell you! You can get matching outfits, an even amount of PAIRS of socks that fit the intended recipient but alas, freedom is a marvelous thing that will be embraced whether encouraged or not.

Rhino believes that shorts should be worn all day everyday and if it's cold outside, well then, that's why you have socks and snow boots. Naturally the cut off jeans are more preferred to the ones bought at that length and shirts should just barely fit to be comfortable. Church is despised because you are supposed to wear pants there and there is no limit on the number of times you can wear the same shorts as long as they're not wet.

Tiger- well- he's a very short order clothing catalog. Though unaware of the future he might have in PETA advertisements, Tiger prefers to rise above most and does not let clothing choices bother him. He prefers naked above all but has recently decided that if that is not an option, his knit pajamas will do. He'll wear the same pajamas until it wears holes and then he turns them around so he can't see the holes in the front anymore. To wash his beloved pajamas we must strip him in the night or attack him against his will. It may seem that Tiger is considerate and just doesn't want to create more laundry for me to have to do, and I might agree except that one if his favorite past times is emptying all of the closets, clothes hampers (dirty and clean) and mixing them altogether. Lately Tiger's newest fetish is costumes. He will rummage through the Halloween box, emptying it of course,and wear any and every type of costume- tutu's included. Should I not have a costume that fits his current demand, he will take matter into his own hands and start cutting clothes and taping them together until I can finally produce what it is he is looking for. Ketchup is worn daily, no matter how many times you remove it.

Naturally curly hair (which she gets from her dad) that is envious even when ratted after a hard days' play. Long eyelashes that accent her violet- tinted blue eyes and a thin body that could wear any amount of fluff that a dress could muster. This is my Puppy... who prefers wearing her brother's shirts, the plainest jeans you could find, tenny- shoes handed down from brother and hair tied back in a ponytail. Her knees are always holed because she cannot stay on her feet whether playing or just walking. Dirt is her favorite accessory.

Complete opposite of her older sister Monkey will wear the fluff of three dresses at once. But better take a picture quick because in five minutes she'll have changed her clothes... again. Call it imaginative or indecisive- whichever you wish but I call it madness. I myself am a jeans and t-shirt girl so all of this pink already has me bewildered but add the high heels and constant desire for more dresses and I am not sure how to raise this child. Luckily I have nieces I can learn from- and steal dresses from too. Of course I can handle the girly girl- and even find it adorable but it might be easier if she'd actually let me comb her hair. Bows and ribbons galore and then pulled out within seconds. She prances through the house as dainty as a princess and then the next second is attacking a tiger or puppy. With hair standing on edge, clothes torn and dirty from her last rumble she sits in time out and says, "I pretty". A lioness wearing monkey's clothing; Yes Monkey- you are a princess no one would dare argue with.

Mr. Zookeeper is not picky- he's just happy to wear whatever I manage to wash and fold for him and is extremely grateful when he has 2 matching socks to wear... even though he usually must retrieve them back from the kids who insist on wearing his socks over their own.

My choice of clothes? I prefer to be a human napkin and/ or tissue. Occasionally I dress up as a maid or plumber but most times am just happy to be dressed after getting a shower. I buy nice clothes, and sometimes i wear them- then I realize I want to keep them nice and revert back to the jeans and t-shirt.. there's something about scrubbing "things" out of floors and off of walls that makes me want to wear the clothes that i don't wear out on a date with Mr. Zookeeper.

So it goes. I wash, I pick it up off the floor and I wash it again, and then I enter the ring to dress my wild bunch. Most days they can have the outfit of their choice but there are occasions when, for the greater good of mankind we must reform. I insist that everyone wear clothing to church- even if it's not fully proper... anyone offended by the boy wearing jogging pants and headphones is invited over prior to leaving to assist me- please bring your protective gear. I set certain rules- such as no more dancing in front of the windows wearing only our underwear but other times I just accept that in many ways, fashion and clothes in general are overrated and I have other things to worry about (like pulling naked kids out of windows). So, when you come to my house to find clothing imitating the furniture and floor- you'll know I didn't win that day. And, when you pass by a family in the grocery store and see a shorts and snow boot wearing boy talking to himself while carrying a stick, a seven year old boy sporting pajamas and a superhero cape at 4:00 in the afternoon while chasing down a not-so-dainty princess that just beat him, an adorable little girl patiently staying by her mom- although at first glance could be mistaken given the boys' clothing and a mother who looks like she just got done volunteering at the waste deposit- don't be alarmed... it's just us without our camouflage on...