With April coming up, Autism Awareness is everywhere. "Light it up Blue" is a tradition of bringing about such awareness. April 2nd is the official Autism Awareness Day and all are encouraged to wear blue, replace light bulbs to blue and send blue balloons upward through the sky- so if the 2nd comes around and you find yourself surrounded by smurfs- don't worry, just know we're pleading for you to become more aware.
Statistics have just been changed indicating that there are now 1:88 children diagnosed with autism. Utah has the highest percentage. (www.cdc.gov) I wondered where the number came from; because unless the CDC has been reading my blog, no one asked me how many children with autism I have in my home. I learned that the number is taken from those receiving services. So, I wonder then just how accurate the findings are? I am thrilled that so many children are getting services but my family qualifies for none thus I wonder how many more families are out there like mine. Regardless, it is interesting to see the numbers increasing.
When people find out I have a child with autism I usually get a shocked grin, when they find out I have two I get raised to sainthood. The fact is, I also have two children that do not have autism. Sure, my boys make life different but so do my girls. I don't have a diagnosis and I'm pretty sure I bewildered my mother from time to time (sorry about that , mom- I know better now!). I do not want to belittle the work it takes to raise a child with special needs, because believe me! I know it takes a lot of work keeping up with rhinos and tigers but my puppy and monkey mean just as much to me and I have to work just as hard for them- it's just different work.
I am not a saint, I am a mother.
I'd like to answer here a few questions that I am constantly answering in private intimate settings as well as in the line at the grocery store (because what better time to explain than while my child is having a meltdown). I am always happy to answer questions because the more people know, the less they fear. Forgive my breakdown, I just feel it'll be easier to follow. Also, be forewarned: This is MY opinion, My experience and My feeling. I do not speak on behalf of anyone else and because it is my life, it involves my heart.
1. "Wow, you have 2 kids with autism! What do you think caused it?" I do not know the answer to this question, maybe I hiccuped during pregnancy at the exact same time with both boys. However, I do know what did not cause it. Rhino was immunized on schedule. After finding he had autism, we did not immediately immunize Tiger. Rhino was slow from the beginning. He had repetitive speech and did some amazing things with a wooden spoon but was never peer level. Tiger however regressed at 20 months and lost all of what little speech he had. He went from ransacking my cupboards to twirling the yarns on his blanket. He was not immunized and had a more severe form of autism. I know others who have reason to believe that the MMR was linked to their child getting autism; I do not have such reasons. I don't think anything really caused my sons to have autism. I believe it is something they have to work through just like we all have things to work through. Some say it's the environment, genes and/or a combination of things, rightfully so. But, how are we to know if these things caused an uproar in diagnosis or if they were not a part of a bigger plan. The creator of this world also created us. He knows all. I don't believe these children are randomly selected by circumstance. Rather, I believe they are a part of God's plan and he has a purpose for them. Now whether the environment and other triggers play a part of that seems to me like a question of the chicken or the egg. This disorder alters life so much I can't help but consider that there's more about it than we'll ever know in this life.
2. "Doesn't it make you so sad?" Not at all. I did not do everything my mother dreamed I would do and I certainly gave her a fair share of worry. My boys are who they are and I wouldn't change that. My job is to help them become the best they can- not what I want them to one day be. My sons cannot lie. My sons do not know they're different; they are pure and innocent. My sons have angels that accompany them- how can that make me sad? What makes me sad is that they do not always fit in or belong. It makes me sad when someone can't be bothered to see the real boy inside or can't slow down long enough to help out. It is work, no doubt and everyone can use help from time to time. My boys don't make me sad, but sometimes the world does.
3. "Why do you think you have 2 boys with autism?" Because I am lucky! I know that I was prepared before this life to raise my children. My LDS faith has taught me that we existed before we came to earth and our spirits will live on after we leave. I trust this with all my heart! I do not believe that my boys are punished nor am I, I believe that we all have missions on this earth and I am blessed to get to be a part of their special missions. The lord makes me strong and qualifies those he calls. I have been called to raise these two special spirits and their sisters have come to help. I do not believe that my family is an accident. I have seen the blessings that have come from having such special experiences in my home and I am fortunate to be worthy of such a call.
4. "Why do you think there are so many more children with autism now?" Again, my faith tells me that there is a bigger picture than what we can see. Why not now? We live in the fulness of times where technology, medication, education and therapies are at their best. Diagnosing plays a big role but what about treatment? Fifteen, twenty years ago mothers did not have half the resources that we do now. (As a side note, my children would have never survived in previous centuries prior to ketchup being invented.) If Heavenly Father has a plan for each of His children, why wouldn't we be given the tools to see it through? Furthermore, I believe these children with autism (as well as many other people with or without disabilities) have special spirits. We have been reserved to come to earth at this time and so have they. Not only can we help them but they can help us. I cannot get caught up in worldly things because my children remind me what's important. I have learned compassion, long suffering, talents I never knew I had and joy beyond comprehension! I am glad Heavenly Father chose to send us these special angels now and that I get to hug two of them everyday.
5. "What do you think is the cure?" I'm not looking for a cure; my children are not sick or broken. Many people have written marvelous books and articles about this subject and their children; I cannot do them all justice. I have written my own articles and posted them on my blog but here I just want to be honest and frank. The best success my family has had has come from love. Love conquers all. When I remember that I am capable of what the lord has given me; I can move mountains. I cannot express in words the miracles I have seen happen on sometimes a daily basis. My children are amazing! They are capable of so much and when I get in their zone- I realize that I am the one missing out, not them. When I first learned that April 2nd was Autism Awareness Day I chuckled at how close it was to April Fool's Day. I mean this seriously, my children are always fooling me by proving statistics and doubts as false. They can do anything they set their mind to. I'm not hoping for a cure or a better way to diagnose in the womb. In fact, that scares me. What I am waiting for is a chance. The chance for every child regardless of their differences to live a full and happy life. This comes through awareness, education and brilliant people using their talents to help others.
I could go on for hours (and apologize to those who have been forced to listen to me- even those in the grocery store) but will end here. I guess my main plea for Autism Awareness this month is to stop and slow down. Maybe instead of feeling sorry for me or my children (or families like us) you take the time to get to know us. I started this blog for that very reason. I want my children to know how much I love them, why we have no pictures of anything and how much they cost me in ketchup but I want others to see that we are a family. We have our strange quarks, we play with balls in the house and dumping rice is part of our daily lives but we love it. We love who we are and everyone that makes us a Zoo. And who doesn't love a Zoo?
So change a light bulb, wear a shirt or watch a balloon soar but don't just see the world light up with blue this next month; see it light up with joy as we recognize these special people that we get the opportunity to associate with...
3.29.2012
3.27.2012
Puppy!
Puppy! You've waited a whole year (+ 1 leap day) and now it's finally here! It's your birthday!
I cannot believe that six years ago I held this tiny little girl in my arms and now she's my right hand. You are such a big helper and you are busy shaping your thoughts, words and dreams.
You spend HOURS telling me about what happened yesterday, whether it was actually yesterday, last week or two years ago it's all the same and clearly fresh on your mind. You want to know all you can and are always looking for the lessons in things. You are the first to volunteer for chores and if you could whistle I'm sure you'd offer many tunes while cheerfully working along.
You are often stuck between a rock and a hard place; otherwise named Tiger and Monkey. You have your battle scars and take a lot of grief from both ends but it never keeps you down or away. You LOVE them both so much. Just the other day you told dad, "I love Tiger, sometimes he hits me or pulls my hair but it only hurts for a little. He's still my brother and well, I just love him!" Monkey might be younger and has no diagnosis to explain her femininity but that doesn't stop her from wreaking havoc on your room or telling you she's the boss. You take it in stride. It's not always easy but you always manage to come out on top and end the day as friends over a teapot filled with water; which isn't supposed to be in your room to begin with...
You are learning who you are and what life is all about. When not barking at Tiger to be safe, literally, you started barking to get his attention, you sing, dance, exercise and draw. You like sharing the interests of your siblings and often claim them as your own (because you're always thinking of others and are just all around agreeable) but the one thing that you have all to yourself is your love of puppies!
In talking about your birthday we had suggested several themes but the one thing you kept coming back to was puppy this and puppy that. For three years now it's been puppies, puppies, puppies. You got your first one (which regrettably got lost on our last vacation) for your third birthday. It was a used stuffed animal purchased from a thrift store after our finances got really tight but you didn't care. You never have. We have added to your collection, per your request and insistence and you now have 14 puppies in your care! You are as good to them as you are to every living thing.
You are my sweet girl with a sweet spirit. You remind me of myself, but I guess the talking for hours part probably gave that away. You want to be noticed, recognized and assured that you are important- and though you often come last or are stuck at the end of line, I am so very grateful that you are there. You are my strong girl that is more mature than her years. You are my anchor in connecting with and handling the stresses of our family and though you may doubt it, you are so very special and have a very special purpose in our family. Rhino, Tiger and Monkey would not be where they are without you!
It's not always fair having to be the strong one or always depended upon, believe me I know, but you are a hunter. You have what it takes to go out and get what you want. Never let anyone make you feel like less! What's important is how you feel about yourself and that you know you were made to do great things.
True to your Zoo name, you are playful, sweet and capable of being anyone's best friend!
I love you Puppy and Happy Birthday!
I cannot believe that six years ago I held this tiny little girl in my arms and now she's my right hand. You are such a big helper and you are busy shaping your thoughts, words and dreams.
You spend HOURS telling me about what happened yesterday, whether it was actually yesterday, last week or two years ago it's all the same and clearly fresh on your mind. You want to know all you can and are always looking for the lessons in things. You are the first to volunteer for chores and if you could whistle I'm sure you'd offer many tunes while cheerfully working along.
You are often stuck between a rock and a hard place; otherwise named Tiger and Monkey. You have your battle scars and take a lot of grief from both ends but it never keeps you down or away. You LOVE them both so much. Just the other day you told dad, "I love Tiger, sometimes he hits me or pulls my hair but it only hurts for a little. He's still my brother and well, I just love him!" Monkey might be younger and has no diagnosis to explain her femininity but that doesn't stop her from wreaking havoc on your room or telling you she's the boss. You take it in stride. It's not always easy but you always manage to come out on top and end the day as friends over a teapot filled with water; which isn't supposed to be in your room to begin with...
You are learning who you are and what life is all about. When not barking at Tiger to be safe, literally, you started barking to get his attention, you sing, dance, exercise and draw. You like sharing the interests of your siblings and often claim them as your own (because you're always thinking of others and are just all around agreeable) but the one thing that you have all to yourself is your love of puppies!
In talking about your birthday we had suggested several themes but the one thing you kept coming back to was puppy this and puppy that. For three years now it's been puppies, puppies, puppies. You got your first one (which regrettably got lost on our last vacation) for your third birthday. It was a used stuffed animal purchased from a thrift store after our finances got really tight but you didn't care. You never have. We have added to your collection, per your request and insistence and you now have 14 puppies in your care! You are as good to them as you are to every living thing.
You are my sweet girl with a sweet spirit. You remind me of myself, but I guess the talking for hours part probably gave that away. You want to be noticed, recognized and assured that you are important- and though you often come last or are stuck at the end of line, I am so very grateful that you are there. You are my strong girl that is more mature than her years. You are my anchor in connecting with and handling the stresses of our family and though you may doubt it, you are so very special and have a very special purpose in our family. Rhino, Tiger and Monkey would not be where they are without you!
It's not always fair having to be the strong one or always depended upon, believe me I know, but you are a hunter. You have what it takes to go out and get what you want. Never let anyone make you feel like less! What's important is how you feel about yourself and that you know you were made to do great things.
True to your Zoo name, you are playful, sweet and capable of being anyone's best friend!
I love you Puppy and Happy Birthday!
3.21.2012
feeding and fishing
A wise parable offers a promise: if you give a boy a hashbrown, you feed him for an hour but if you teach him how to cook a hashbrown, you feed him until the package runs out or the microwave explodes.
Okay, perhaps I tweaked the fine saying just a bit to match my own experiences but nonetheless, teaching pays off. We love to hold our babies and cuddle them but are eager to watch them stand on wobbling limbs and walk towards us. Changing the cutie patootie bum of a newborn is nothing compared to purchasing heavy machinery to clean the battlefield where an un-named resistant potty goer chose to squat and rub his not so cute bum all over the floor. So, we look forward to our children learning and becoming more independent (and eventually moving out), even though it sometimes kills us to watch them grow up! Talk about hypocritical! But isn't our ultimate goal to raise adults?
It's a good thing we have no control over time or some of us would have a hold on that remote and just keep rewinding to the good parts and fast forwarding through the less desirable ones. My children do this, much to my dismay. I once found out that the five hour long movie I thought they were watching was actually a fifteen minute cartoon that they kept rewinding. I limited their movie time so now instead of wasting precious moments, they all fight over the remote and choose the parts they like best watching them over and over again until time is expired.
It is amazing to watch children learn and grow. It is likewise fun to also watch adults, ourselves, parrots and pigs learn new tricks but I'm talking about motherhood here so stay with me. This is one reason why I spend countless attempts at getting my children to do things in spite of the boycotts and walk-outs. But that's just my point! The wise parable gets us all geared up to teach our children how to fish and feed themselves for a lifetime but makes no attempt to warn us that we might nearly drown before they do. As a novel teacher, leisurely fisher and mother with young children, I imagine the disclaimer would read something like this:
Beware of those attempting to fish with small or stubborn children, they will resist the floaties but will still jump ship causing you to plunge into the cold waters after them, even if you are wearing your only clean shirt. You will begin to teach and they may not listen at first, don't worry, they'll realize you were talking to them by the 100th time. Watch out for flying hooks, they come out of no where. The net will get tangled, often and you may occasionally spend so long getting your gear ready that you miss the fish altogether. Lines will get crossed, shoes will get muddy and someone is bound to have to go to the bathroom as soon as you cast out. There will be days that you will go hungry so your child can eat the only fish your day's efforts brought in and though you may take a night off to go out with your spouse you'll cringe only to find you've been harboring fish guts in your hair. You will spend countless nights asleep (and probably drooling) aboard the ship because you're too tired to get to your bed and even though you hate the smell of fish, you'll wake up and do it all again tomorrow!
And we do! This work exhausts us but no matter how we object, we love it! I love it! I have to- do- lists that multiply while I'm busy crossing off item number one. I have children that take longer to learn things and challenge every philosophy ever written in what to expect books. I have battled schools and slayed dragons only to find there are more flying overhead daily, dragons, not schools. I get nervous in public restrooms because I have to shut the door and out of habit I've learned to get in quick while listening to all the sounds going through the home without my supervision. I have neighbors stop by to tell me Spiderman is climbing on top of the camp trailer and must call my husband from the street to shut the blinds to block the naked boy from admiring his reflection. I never put my vacuum away and keep two handy at all times. I have learned efficient ways to put out fires, literally and I know what it means to really work graveyard as I'm on call nurturing the lively nocturnal though I feel like I'm walking with the dead. I have failed over and over again and have cried more times than I'll ever own up to. And my oldest is only ten!
Still, I don't dwell on the near death climb because the view is so worth it.
Every smile boosts my spirit's and every hug refills my energy tank. I don't have to cross off every chore if I spread them out amongst the family and accept their sincere but inexperienced help. I get to participate in my children's learning and be the first to congratulate their successes. I have learned to train my dragons when killing them doesn't work and I don't have to clean the public bathrooms so that's already a bonus. I have a fearless boy who can climb ladders regardless of how we might try to stop him and he believes he can be anything he wants if he just has the right costume. I actually use my fire alarms and extinguishers so it's not a waste of batteries or time to change them and I have been blessed to be able to comfort my babes regardless of the hour. I have succeeded over and over again and I never cry alone because I always have a shoulder to cry on... and my oldest is only ten!
It seems that some days it might be easier to just buy an insurance policy on fish rather than attempt to teach. But then, after hours of just waiting, you see your child's excitement as their line pulls straight. Fear and excitement are mingled as he struggles to reel it in. You stand close by but know he can do it so you trudge into the shallow water to catch the slimy creature as soon as it shows its face. You're both screaming and nearby fishers can't help but watch your achievement. Smiles are so big that your jaw is starting to cramp but you can't stop. Your facebook status is quickly updated and numerous friends begin liking it while demanding pictures. You grab the camera and forever remember every detail of the monumental moment. It took a long time to get there but he did it! You both did it!
That's how I feel when I'm scraping the grease of an uncovered hashbrown out of the microwave. Sometimes it's he/she did IT and other times HE/SHE did it but either way- we DID it!
“If you give a man a fish, you've fed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you've fed him for a lifetime.” I stand by my disclaimer that it will take hard work, really hard work but then if I might be so bold to add my own words of wisdom- as if anyone could stop me - I envision the fine print to read, And yes, it's so worth it!
Okay, perhaps I tweaked the fine saying just a bit to match my own experiences but nonetheless, teaching pays off. We love to hold our babies and cuddle them but are eager to watch them stand on wobbling limbs and walk towards us. Changing the cutie patootie bum of a newborn is nothing compared to purchasing heavy machinery to clean the battlefield where an un-named resistant potty goer chose to squat and rub his not so cute bum all over the floor. So, we look forward to our children learning and becoming more independent (and eventually moving out), even though it sometimes kills us to watch them grow up! Talk about hypocritical! But isn't our ultimate goal to raise adults?
It's a good thing we have no control over time or some of us would have a hold on that remote and just keep rewinding to the good parts and fast forwarding through the less desirable ones. My children do this, much to my dismay. I once found out that the five hour long movie I thought they were watching was actually a fifteen minute cartoon that they kept rewinding. I limited their movie time so now instead of wasting precious moments, they all fight over the remote and choose the parts they like best watching them over and over again until time is expired.
It is amazing to watch children learn and grow. It is likewise fun to also watch adults, ourselves, parrots and pigs learn new tricks but I'm talking about motherhood here so stay with me. This is one reason why I spend countless attempts at getting my children to do things in spite of the boycotts and walk-outs. But that's just my point! The wise parable gets us all geared up to teach our children how to fish and feed themselves for a lifetime but makes no attempt to warn us that we might nearly drown before they do. As a novel teacher, leisurely fisher and mother with young children, I imagine the disclaimer would read something like this:
Beware of those attempting to fish with small or stubborn children, they will resist the floaties but will still jump ship causing you to plunge into the cold waters after them, even if you are wearing your only clean shirt. You will begin to teach and they may not listen at first, don't worry, they'll realize you were talking to them by the 100th time. Watch out for flying hooks, they come out of no where. The net will get tangled, often and you may occasionally spend so long getting your gear ready that you miss the fish altogether. Lines will get crossed, shoes will get muddy and someone is bound to have to go to the bathroom as soon as you cast out. There will be days that you will go hungry so your child can eat the only fish your day's efforts brought in and though you may take a night off to go out with your spouse you'll cringe only to find you've been harboring fish guts in your hair. You will spend countless nights asleep (and probably drooling) aboard the ship because you're too tired to get to your bed and even though you hate the smell of fish, you'll wake up and do it all again tomorrow!
And we do! This work exhausts us but no matter how we object, we love it! I love it! I have to- do- lists that multiply while I'm busy crossing off item number one. I have children that take longer to learn things and challenge every philosophy ever written in what to expect books. I have battled schools and slayed dragons only to find there are more flying overhead daily, dragons, not schools. I get nervous in public restrooms because I have to shut the door and out of habit I've learned to get in quick while listening to all the sounds going through the home without my supervision. I have neighbors stop by to tell me Spiderman is climbing on top of the camp trailer and must call my husband from the street to shut the blinds to block the naked boy from admiring his reflection. I never put my vacuum away and keep two handy at all times. I have learned efficient ways to put out fires, literally and I know what it means to really work graveyard as I'm on call nurturing the lively nocturnal though I feel like I'm walking with the dead. I have failed over and over again and have cried more times than I'll ever own up to. And my oldest is only ten!
Still, I don't dwell on the near death climb because the view is so worth it.
Every smile boosts my spirit's and every hug refills my energy tank. I don't have to cross off every chore if I spread them out amongst the family and accept their sincere but inexperienced help. I get to participate in my children's learning and be the first to congratulate their successes. I have learned to train my dragons when killing them doesn't work and I don't have to clean the public bathrooms so that's already a bonus. I have a fearless boy who can climb ladders regardless of how we might try to stop him and he believes he can be anything he wants if he just has the right costume. I actually use my fire alarms and extinguishers so it's not a waste of batteries or time to change them and I have been blessed to be able to comfort my babes regardless of the hour. I have succeeded over and over again and I never cry alone because I always have a shoulder to cry on... and my oldest is only ten!
It seems that some days it might be easier to just buy an insurance policy on fish rather than attempt to teach. But then, after hours of just waiting, you see your child's excitement as their line pulls straight. Fear and excitement are mingled as he struggles to reel it in. You stand close by but know he can do it so you trudge into the shallow water to catch the slimy creature as soon as it shows its face. You're both screaming and nearby fishers can't help but watch your achievement. Smiles are so big that your jaw is starting to cramp but you can't stop. Your facebook status is quickly updated and numerous friends begin liking it while demanding pictures. You grab the camera and forever remember every detail of the monumental moment. It took a long time to get there but he did it! You both did it!
That's how I feel when I'm scraping the grease of an uncovered hashbrown out of the microwave. Sometimes it's he/she did IT and other times HE/SHE did it but either way- we DID it!
“If you give a man a fish, you've fed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you've fed him for a lifetime.” I stand by my disclaimer that it will take hard work, really hard work but then if I might be so bold to add my own words of wisdom- as if anyone could stop me - I envision the fine print to read, And yes, it's so worth it!
3.13.2012
maintenance crew
We can all agree that the maintenance crew at any location- especially a zoo- is invaluable! I tip my hat to people who can go in day after day and clean up someone Else's mess. As any mother knows, maintenance is one of our many jobs and we, too, are often busy cleaning up after others. There are a few differences however:
1. I don't get paid. My zoo's version of a tip is bringing me the broom and informing me that I missed a spot. Likewise, my bonus consists of new cleaners, machines and rubber gloves.
2. I don't have too many options in moving up in management. I can teach my crew but nonetheless, I am still working day and night shifts.
3. I can't quit, retire or take a sick day. Well, I can but nobody likes used underwear so strike or not; work still has to get done.
There are benefits to my job though. I am my own master, I can usually make my own schedule and although they keep coming back, I can fire anyone I choose. I also have my own parking spot!
Needless to say, cleaning this zoo is job security- I will never run out of things to do in this house! Most days I'm fishing crackers out of the couch, finding Legos with my bare feet, cleaning up toothpaste off the door knobs, separating ketchup from the walls, ceilings, table, floors and children or doing some everyday chores like washing the entire wardrobe a certain boy and girl who insist on mixing dirty with clean. I used to try and separate the two by smelling clean vs. dirty... yeah, bad idea- just throw the whole pile in the wash!
We all have our own special styles and techniques when it comes to cleaning up. Mr. Zookeeper uses gloves, lots of soap and a broom- everything gets swept into a pile, put into baskets and left for the cleaning fairy to put away (at least he gets it off the floor for me!). Certain disasters find him grateful for his day job and I get a smile, kiss and "good luck with that!" Really though, I am very fortunate to have a husband that helps around the house. Everyone likes a little eye candy, even when our job is wearing our grubbies and scraping the toilets with a toothbrush. Rhino works for dollars. You should not pay kids to clean up their own messes or help out, but he shares a room with Tiger and well, that's just not fair to anyone. Tiger pleads incompetent. He can do anything he sets his mind to until it's time to clean, then everything is broken and he needs a rest. Puppy inherited her grandma's gene and likes a clean house; give her an apron and a rag and she's good to go. Monkey? She loves to have everything out where she can see it and asking her to clean up requires a great deal of princess make believe. Where is Maintenance Barbie I'd like to know? I detest dog hair but he earns his keep every time another bowl of mac and cheese hits the floor and I'd rather apologize to a guest for a little fur on their pants than a serving of noodle on their sock! You know those houses that have signs insisting you leave your shoes at the front door? Yeah, ours screams for you to leave them on... and wear a hard hat or any other protective gear if at all possible.
I personally like things tidy but these are also zoo-grounds so it's a never ending construction zone. I do not mind cleaning and enjoy the result but I am not a long suffering clean up crew. I want the job to be as efficient as possible. I admit it, if an item is too offensive to clean, I throw it away. Which is probably why I can never find any bowls. I love vacuuming because that usually means break time is soon. Every shift goes smoother with the radio playing louder than the ambiance and the mop that doubles as a microphone always lets me lead. Sometimes, when I'm really depressed about cleaning (like when it's a huge mess or it's only been a day since I was last called to the exact same cleanup on aisle 5) I'll turn on a motivating and uplifting talk. I find the ones that talk about how precious children are usually saves lives.
We all have our chores and while my list probably looks different than others (unless you too have ketchup lovers/napkin haters), we all find ways to tackle our nemesis'. So, what secrets do you all have up your sleeves? How do you whip your home into shape, or keep it's perfect shape? What motivates you and what days are you available...
1. I don't get paid. My zoo's version of a tip is bringing me the broom and informing me that I missed a spot. Likewise, my bonus consists of new cleaners, machines and rubber gloves.
2. I don't have too many options in moving up in management. I can teach my crew but nonetheless, I am still working day and night shifts.
3. I can't quit, retire or take a sick day. Well, I can but nobody likes used underwear so strike or not; work still has to get done.
There are benefits to my job though. I am my own master, I can usually make my own schedule and although they keep coming back, I can fire anyone I choose. I also have my own parking spot!
Needless to say, cleaning this zoo is job security- I will never run out of things to do in this house! Most days I'm fishing crackers out of the couch, finding Legos with my bare feet, cleaning up toothpaste off the door knobs, separating ketchup from the walls, ceilings, table, floors and children or doing some everyday chores like washing the entire wardrobe a certain boy and girl who insist on mixing dirty with clean. I used to try and separate the two by smelling clean vs. dirty... yeah, bad idea- just throw the whole pile in the wash!
We all have our own special styles and techniques when it comes to cleaning up. Mr. Zookeeper uses gloves, lots of soap and a broom- everything gets swept into a pile, put into baskets and left for the cleaning fairy to put away (at least he gets it off the floor for me!). Certain disasters find him grateful for his day job and I get a smile, kiss and "good luck with that!" Really though, I am very fortunate to have a husband that helps around the house. Everyone likes a little eye candy, even when our job is wearing our grubbies and scraping the toilets with a toothbrush. Rhino works for dollars. You should not pay kids to clean up their own messes or help out, but he shares a room with Tiger and well, that's just not fair to anyone. Tiger pleads incompetent. He can do anything he sets his mind to until it's time to clean, then everything is broken and he needs a rest. Puppy inherited her grandma's gene and likes a clean house; give her an apron and a rag and she's good to go. Monkey? She loves to have everything out where she can see it and asking her to clean up requires a great deal of princess make believe. Where is Maintenance Barbie I'd like to know? I detest dog hair but he earns his keep every time another bowl of mac and cheese hits the floor and I'd rather apologize to a guest for a little fur on their pants than a serving of noodle on their sock! You know those houses that have signs insisting you leave your shoes at the front door? Yeah, ours screams for you to leave them on... and wear a hard hat or any other protective gear if at all possible.
I personally like things tidy but these are also zoo-grounds so it's a never ending construction zone. I do not mind cleaning and enjoy the result but I am not a long suffering clean up crew. I want the job to be as efficient as possible. I admit it, if an item is too offensive to clean, I throw it away. Which is probably why I can never find any bowls. I love vacuuming because that usually means break time is soon. Every shift goes smoother with the radio playing louder than the ambiance and the mop that doubles as a microphone always lets me lead. Sometimes, when I'm really depressed about cleaning (like when it's a huge mess or it's only been a day since I was last called to the exact same cleanup on aisle 5) I'll turn on a motivating and uplifting talk. I find the ones that talk about how precious children are usually saves lives.
We all have our chores and while my list probably looks different than others (unless you too have ketchup lovers/napkin haters), we all find ways to tackle our nemesis'. So, what secrets do you all have up your sleeves? How do you whip your home into shape, or keep it's perfect shape? What motivates you and what days are you available...
3.08.2012
Unexpected Packages
I needed a break. Not so much from any particular person, place or thing but just in general. A change of scenery always brightens my day and gives me something to look forward to. There is a desperation in knowing you will stay up all night cleaning the house, but satisfaction in knowing it will stay clean for an entire week, even if you have to remove everyone to keep it that way. You can't see the clean closet, kitchen or toilet but even from another state you sigh because you know it is still there.
Vacations are never relaxing for our family but they do serve their own purpose, even if it's washing every pair of underwear and matching every sock in the jungle.
It was just going to be me and the girls. We'd pick up grandma and go sit on Main street one last time before our passes to the second Happiest place on Earth expired. After learning that this was the last opportunity, Rhino consented to accompany us because he had his eye on a toy there and wanted to make sure his every wish was fulfilled. Tiger enjoys himself but it is also stressful for him, and everyone else. I would take Rhino and deal with his emotional diarrhea and Mr. Zookeeper would keep Tiger and spend some time bonding. I had it all planned out, again.
I watched Tiger interact with his siblings and realized that he would be so distraught without his only friends for six days. With no way to explain what was happening and reassure him that we would return I had a decision to make. I could leave as planned and know that while he would be sad we would in fact return and all would one day be right again in his world. Or, I could pack the extra bag and take all four kids along. The problem was not that I didn't want to deal with Tiger, it was that Tiger would be with his siblings but not necessarily happier. He loves a good roller coaster and singing animatronics but all of the moments in between are quite stressful for him. I felt torn trying to decide between the lesser of two evils.
Mr. Zookeeper then informed me that his job called for him to be in a neighboring city the very day I was to be enjoying a break. So, the decision was made and what started as a girls trip turned into a family vacation. The detailed preparations began.
To lessen the load on my shoulders, literally, I opted to overcompensate for Tiger's abilities and made arrangements to disable him. Hear me out. This was a very hard decision. We all teach our kids to talk and then encourage them to be quiet. We clap as they learn to walk and then insist they sit down. I want my children to embrace life as they are but occasionally have to take measures to ensure their safety. (getting to the point) Tiger needed to be happy and I needed Tiger to be safe. I looked around for a stroller that would accommodate an eight year old fighter but to my pocket books dismay could not find one suitable.
I know people have opinions about grown children in strollers. To them I offer the invitation to chase, wrestle and carry my son. I became frustrated. He did not have a medical disability that required him to be in a chair (nor would I wish that) but I needed something. This is an area that some do not understand. It is very expensive to care for children with autism. I'm not just talking about ketchup and french fries! Little if any financial help is given yet so much accommodation is needed.
I had the choice to strap Tiger to a small stroller intended for young children or carry him on my back. I did both.
I was content pushing a few hours out of the day to give my back a break and Tiger was content to be confined in a safe place. He was actually happy to strap himself in. When I had to return the stroller, I accepted the work of carrying him a few miles to the hotel. He is a great walker but only going where he wants to go. He will not let me hold his hand, tie him to a leash or any other less invasive means of keeping him with me. If he walks next to me, I must keep one step behind him (he likes to lead) with an arm stretched out across his back hand cupped a few inches from his shoulder. I cannot touch him but must be ready to stop him from sprinting or plowing through someone at any minute. The alternative, of course is to put him on my back or over my shoulder.
What started as a break ended as a reminder of the real life I live. I struggled with the idea that I was disabling my son whom I work so hard to enable. This is my world. Would I do it again? Absolutely. Tiger was happier being confined even if it did put limits on his strengths.
Plans changed several times over and we ended up home two days sooner than planned. Mr. Zookeeper had to cancel his flight to yet another state for another work assignment and together we drove all night learning about Steve Job's life to stay awake. We arrived home at 2:30 in the morning and you'd better believe I soaked in the cleanliness of the house.
Rhino did not get his toy due to our speedy removal but has a date with the toy store. Puppy lost her favorite (and first) stuffed puppy and had a hard time dealing with Tiger's new stroller usage. Mr. Zookeeper gave her a camera to document her day and we are all very grateful that there is no charge for digital pictures of EVERYTHING. Tiger enjoyed his confined freedom (it sounds strange, but it really is how it sounds) and Monkey's height worked in her advantage as she was able to ride most of the big kid coasters. Crazy trains and silly wet drops made her excited to get to hang out in lines with us. Mr. Zookeeper will be sleeping off the trip for weeks to come and I actually took some pictures for our scrapbook ( a job that the kids will have to put together one day while I recover from raising them) !
This was an interesting trip for me. Growing pains hit different chords. My oldest couldn't understand why he didn't get to go shopping, my youngest was "tall enough", my sweet girl felt loss and jealously and my free spirit had to be restrained. My mom, who accompanied us, helped me ensure everyone's safety and happiness. Though the second day, when joined by dad, the kids didn't have much need for us as they all wanted to be dad's partner! I was Okay seeing them hang on him knowing they weren't hanging on me.
Throughout the quick and ever changing trip, I was reminded that life is about experiences and you can't always plan them out the way you want. Sometimes Rhinos have to get disappointed, Puppies must get hurt to learn, Monkeys always grow up and Tigers must learn they too can become prey if they're not careful.
This is a somber post, I realize it's weight and do not wish to leave the wrong impression. We did in fact go to one of my favorite places in the whole wide world and one cannot help but burst with excitement (and exhaustion) at the mere thought of being there! Okay, I can't help it. I start screaming when we see the road signs! We had some downs but they only occurred in short bursts amidst all of the laughs, smiles and hugs. Family- it's about time! Our days won't always be happy and not every memory will be wrapped in a colorful bow but our time together will ALWAYS be a gift!
I'm grateful for adventures and unexpected packages. Now if I can only figure out how to convince Mr. Zookeeper to get me another annual pass...
Vacations are never relaxing for our family but they do serve their own purpose, even if it's washing every pair of underwear and matching every sock in the jungle.
It was just going to be me and the girls. We'd pick up grandma and go sit on Main street one last time before our passes to the second Happiest place on Earth expired. After learning that this was the last opportunity, Rhino consented to accompany us because he had his eye on a toy there and wanted to make sure his every wish was fulfilled. Tiger enjoys himself but it is also stressful for him, and everyone else. I would take Rhino and deal with his emotional diarrhea and Mr. Zookeeper would keep Tiger and spend some time bonding. I had it all planned out, again.
I watched Tiger interact with his siblings and realized that he would be so distraught without his only friends for six days. With no way to explain what was happening and reassure him that we would return I had a decision to make. I could leave as planned and know that while he would be sad we would in fact return and all would one day be right again in his world. Or, I could pack the extra bag and take all four kids along. The problem was not that I didn't want to deal with Tiger, it was that Tiger would be with his siblings but not necessarily happier. He loves a good roller coaster and singing animatronics but all of the moments in between are quite stressful for him. I felt torn trying to decide between the lesser of two evils.
Mr. Zookeeper then informed me that his job called for him to be in a neighboring city the very day I was to be enjoying a break. So, the decision was made and what started as a girls trip turned into a family vacation. The detailed preparations began.
To lessen the load on my shoulders, literally, I opted to overcompensate for Tiger's abilities and made arrangements to disable him. Hear me out. This was a very hard decision. We all teach our kids to talk and then encourage them to be quiet. We clap as they learn to walk and then insist they sit down. I want my children to embrace life as they are but occasionally have to take measures to ensure their safety. (getting to the point) Tiger needed to be happy and I needed Tiger to be safe. I looked around for a stroller that would accommodate an eight year old fighter but to my pocket books dismay could not find one suitable.
I know people have opinions about grown children in strollers. To them I offer the invitation to chase, wrestle and carry my son. I became frustrated. He did not have a medical disability that required him to be in a chair (nor would I wish that) but I needed something. This is an area that some do not understand. It is very expensive to care for children with autism. I'm not just talking about ketchup and french fries! Little if any financial help is given yet so much accommodation is needed.
I had the choice to strap Tiger to a small stroller intended for young children or carry him on my back. I did both.
I was content pushing a few hours out of the day to give my back a break and Tiger was content to be confined in a safe place. He was actually happy to strap himself in. When I had to return the stroller, I accepted the work of carrying him a few miles to the hotel. He is a great walker but only going where he wants to go. He will not let me hold his hand, tie him to a leash or any other less invasive means of keeping him with me. If he walks next to me, I must keep one step behind him (he likes to lead) with an arm stretched out across his back hand cupped a few inches from his shoulder. I cannot touch him but must be ready to stop him from sprinting or plowing through someone at any minute. The alternative, of course is to put him on my back or over my shoulder.
What started as a break ended as a reminder of the real life I live. I struggled with the idea that I was disabling my son whom I work so hard to enable. This is my world. Would I do it again? Absolutely. Tiger was happier being confined even if it did put limits on his strengths.
Plans changed several times over and we ended up home two days sooner than planned. Mr. Zookeeper had to cancel his flight to yet another state for another work assignment and together we drove all night learning about Steve Job's life to stay awake. We arrived home at 2:30 in the morning and you'd better believe I soaked in the cleanliness of the house.
Rhino did not get his toy due to our speedy removal but has a date with the toy store. Puppy lost her favorite (and first) stuffed puppy and had a hard time dealing with Tiger's new stroller usage. Mr. Zookeeper gave her a camera to document her day and we are all very grateful that there is no charge for digital pictures of EVERYTHING. Tiger enjoyed his confined freedom (it sounds strange, but it really is how it sounds) and Monkey's height worked in her advantage as she was able to ride most of the big kid coasters. Crazy trains and silly wet drops made her excited to get to hang out in lines with us. Mr. Zookeeper will be sleeping off the trip for weeks to come and I actually took some pictures for our scrapbook ( a job that the kids will have to put together one day while I recover from raising them) !
This was an interesting trip for me. Growing pains hit different chords. My oldest couldn't understand why he didn't get to go shopping, my youngest was "tall enough", my sweet girl felt loss and jealously and my free spirit had to be restrained. My mom, who accompanied us, helped me ensure everyone's safety and happiness. Though the second day, when joined by dad, the kids didn't have much need for us as they all wanted to be dad's partner! I was Okay seeing them hang on him knowing they weren't hanging on me.
Throughout the quick and ever changing trip, I was reminded that life is about experiences and you can't always plan them out the way you want. Sometimes Rhinos have to get disappointed, Puppies must get hurt to learn, Monkeys always grow up and Tigers must learn they too can become prey if they're not careful.
This is a somber post, I realize it's weight and do not wish to leave the wrong impression. We did in fact go to one of my favorite places in the whole wide world and one cannot help but burst with excitement (and exhaustion) at the mere thought of being there! Okay, I can't help it. I start screaming when we see the road signs! We had some downs but they only occurred in short bursts amidst all of the laughs, smiles and hugs. Family- it's about time! Our days won't always be happy and not every memory will be wrapped in a colorful bow but our time together will ALWAYS be a gift!
I'm grateful for adventures and unexpected packages. Now if I can only figure out how to convince Mr. Zookeeper to get me another annual pass...
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