the grass is green on my side too

It's not for everyone... but I prefer to be my own maintenance crew. Sure there are pros and cons to it just like everything else but as a stay at home mom it helps me feel as if I'm contributing to the function of our home and family in ways other than just giving birth. I don't consider myself a slave to the kids or a prisoner stuck within these walls; it is actually the opposite. I feel a sense of accomplishment as I look at the home that I have worked hard to build. I get to be in control, which is something I relish in and ultimately I am my own boss. There are demands and it can be tedious work at times but really, what else would we fill our time with if we didn't have good solid work to do, daytime TV drama and bon- bons? It might seem nice at first (it is) but believe me- it wears on you and you just want to find something to do that brings you happiness. Some people who still want to question our "old fashioned" way of life try to make us feel less important for staying at home, raising children and preparing a safe haven for our families. In spite of my simply just being happy and pleased with life, I too get tired of the same old thing at times and find myself asking the same questions. This is when the grass truly seems greener on the other side... the OUTside. So that's when I take a walk right down the center of the fence and see if my grass is even remotely green compared with anyone else's...

outside complaint: There is nothing glamorous about scrubbing toilets or changing diapers.
the greener side: I don't have to spend very much on every day clothes because there is nothing glamorous about scrubbing toilets or changing diapers... plus I don't have to wash out the sink and wipe around the toilets out of embarrassment before the cleaning service arrives.

outside complaint: Housework and raising kids is never done.
the greener side: I have job security and will never be lonely... even at weird hours of the night.

outside complaint: You have to do all the work yourself, usually with little or no help and to get help you have to train the family a hundred times before it's done the right way.
the greener side: I don't see this as a problem but if you do I can reassure that you will probably always be first choice for employee of the month. Take yourself out for ice cream, put your name in front of your parking space and hang a picture of yourself on the wall- it'll make you feel better.

outside complaint: You don't get vacation days or sick leave...and even if you do take a sick day your work just piles up higher.
the greener side: I'm sorry- what was the question? Just kidding. I don't get paid to go on vacation but I also don't have to ask permission..and as far as the "sick days" go- that is why I have a husband and friends... and why I believe it is worth it to "train" the family to do it right- even if it takes a hundred times.

outside complaint: If you don't have a "real" job you don't get a paycheck.
the greener side: You are absolutely right... but I don't have to pay taxes either. Hey- a penny saved is a penny earned- During my last pregnancy I looked up what it would cost for me to hire out my cleaning and laundry... better believe I was doing my chores with a smile on my face when I realized what it wasn't costing me.

outside complaint: You are a slave to meal times and chores.
the greener side: Sure... and I get to decide what we eat and when the laundry gets done... even if it's after I'm done playing with the kids or during the show I wanted to watch that happens to come on in the middle of the afternoon (sorry you missed it... you were probably at work :)

outside complaint: It's monotonous, does nothing for a resume and generally exhausting.
the greener side: The harder the task the greater the joy. My job is not easy. I am responsible for the lives and welfare of my family. I cannot get fired or quit; I have to fix whatever I did wrong and move forward. I decide the environment my family will live in. I never have to question anyone but myself if my child was dealt with unfairly or if my home is out of order. Whether appreciated now or in the future, nothing I do gets unnoticed or wasted. My hands prepare every needful thing to ensure physical health and well being. I am the face my family sees as they venture into the world and the arms that welcome them home. I rarely miss a laugh and am the first to know when a tear has been shed. I witness miracles everyday as I teach and learn. I am not who I was when I left the work-field... I am better!

We all know as individuals what makes us happiest. Throughout life experiences we find out who we are, what challenges us to be better and what brings true fulfillment. While we may be a little loud at times and are generally messier than the other side; my grass is the same color, except, from where I'm standing... it may be just a little bit greener (except for those brown spots- watch where you step... I haven't gotten to that yet) ....

on exhibit

While most times I feel like the head zookeeper- I honestly could never do it alone. Meet my co-worker and husband; Mr. Zookeeper. I am the manager where he is more like the owner but it takes both of us to operate this facility... and even then we still have to call out for reinforcements some times. We have been married almost 10 years and it has been wonderful! Marrying at a younger age leaves a lot to be learned but we are so blessed to have learned it together. We have, in a sense, grown up together and will continue to do so; crying, laughing and hugging all along the way. I am sorry to have to brag, well sort of because I will do it anyway, but he is the most amazing man! He can fix just about everything, whether it naturally needs fixing or it's something I or one of the kids manage to break, he is a self teacher and lifelong student, a fantastic friend to everyone he meets and therefore is generally the light of a party- people are drawn to him and just can't help but to like him... yes, I chose well. We married after knowing each other 5 months, I know- why did it take so long to snag him up? We were very happy from the moment we met but our twosome did not stay that way for long. Two weeks after our first wedding anniversary we welcomed our first babe. Meet Rhino- normally I would think of any other animal to describe my precious son but he insisted he was a rhino and now that I'm forced to accept it, I can see the similarities as he too is a gentle giant. Rhino loves animals and dinosaurs; everything in his world evolves those things... and hot dogs. Rhino has always liked to be around other people but prefers to do his own thing-He was the perfect baby until I realized the things he did were not typical... at age three he was diagnosed with autism and has been teaching me ever since. Unlike the rhino, tigers are territorial and generally solitary animals, often requiring large contiguous areas of habitat. Enter in child number two. Tiger is the complete opposite of his older brother. From the moment he was conceived we've had to watch him like hawks, he was born and we was calm and still for about the only two weeks of his life, it's been go-go-go ever since. Because he was so different than Rhino, I thought for sure he was going to be a help meet for his older brother... while he does fulfill that role, he taught us many things about the other side of the spectrum when he regressed at 19 months. Losing all language and social skills he ever had, he was like a tiny animal in captivity. Knowing what I did from working with Rhino, I was fortunate to begin intervention right away, got an autism diagnosis and began school at age two. We are still in the process of gaining speech back but every day we get closer. I never thought I'd be so happy to hear the word "stupid". Like his name, Tiger loves to run and hunt, not necessarily prey, unless it's french fries or hash browns, but anything worth hunting. He loves adventure and apparently loves danger because he can't seem to stay out of it. I've learned to never turn my back on a tiger. Aside from very sharp teeth that you must always be aware of, tigers are very playful and offer so much life that you would not otherwise experience. Just when you think you are so overwhelmed you will burst, the Lord sends you an angel to help. Who doesn't love a puppy? Sure, it's not your typical zoo animal but my third child is not your typical little girl either. while she has golden locks of naturally curly hair, gorgeous indigo shaded eyes and a petite figure- she is all boy. She'll cuddle on your lap allowing you to play with her while she giggles but as soon as the door opens she heads straight for the dirt. So what makes this girl so special? She came into this family with her sleeves rolled up. With two brothers before her she should be entitled to a little childishness but she would having nothing of it, she was born ready and has been a huge lifesaver to both boys... and me. Puppy participates in therapy, watches when I'm not around and corrects as needed, did I mention she's not even old enough for kindergarten yet? She has done for these boys what no mother could ever do- she has been their unconditional friend and example. Given my experience with the boys you'd know I was on my guard for what might be next. When your baby comes premature and all of the doctors are amazed with the fast paced progress, recovery and determination of your little monkey... go home and get a very good night's sleep. Monkey showed us what she was made of in the NICU and hasn't slowed down since. Alert, busy and as silly as can be, she is on all accounts monkey see- monkey do! Knowing her now I can only suppose that she was pre-mature and spent months with colic because she didn't like being confined... she walked early, is talking early and the spent her first birthday with two third-degree burned hands wrapped in gauze and stitches in her eyebrow. Only monkeys can get away with swinging in trees teasing the Rhino, stealing Puppy's food and run around screaming while antagonizing the Tiger and still be considered completely adorable; but alas, she is a monkey and a complete joy to have around.
So- there you have it, welcome to Our Family Zoo. Other animals come and go on a daily basis and occasionally we take a much needed holiday and hire seasonal temps to refresh our devotion. If you ever get a chance, take a ride with us on our Zoo Train... sometimes we're the drivers but most times- we just hold on and enjoy the ride...

It's a jungle in here!

Have you ever walked into a home that was so well decorated, neat and orderly that you felt as if you were on the set of a photo shoot? I have felt that... I grew up in it and always dreamed of having a home of my own that I could turn into a little piece of heaven for my family. My dream came true when I married the most wonderful man and again when my first child was born; stories at bedtime, Friday night dates, cookies on the counter, laundry in the drawers, everything had a place and for the most part that's where you'd find it. I felt so happy every time our family made an addition. Fast forward ten years. Four children, all bouncing with energy and unique personalities, two with autism- the other two are girls and the emotions that they bring with them. A very busy husband who does everything to provide for us so I don't have to and a house that looks very similar to the neighborhood playground! Sure, there are still cookies on the table and laundry in drawers... although most times it seems to be the other way around. :) Even though I am still living my dream, it only took a few years before I realized that I was not merely a housewife and mother. I was so much more. Nothing in my life could have ever prepared me for the things I'd encounter on a daily basis. I wake up to the sounds of a garage door opening only to begin chasing my naked son down the street, clothed in pajamas with three other children chasing behind me. Surely a sight for every neighbor to chuckle over breakfast. Between sensitivities and allergies I make 7-9 meals a day and find myself getting excited when someone tries a new food without throwing it up or throwing it at me. A good day is one when only I get hit, everybody eats, nobody gets lost, everyone made it to the toilet in time and at the end of the day the house is still standing- even if just barely. It's truly a jungle in here and most days all of the animals are going wild. I struggle everyday to survive and feel as if I'm always in maintenance mode. Just when I think it's time to shut down for renovations or possibly ship off some animals to another zoo for a season- a magical thing happens. A new skill is learned, a moment is shared or a child's laughter breaks through the air and I remember why I am the luckiest woman in the world! After all, why are we enticed by zoos and the animal kingdom in general. They are so simple, so fresh (not referring to the smell of course), and so fascinating to observe. We can't get enough of the graceful cheetah, the majestic lion, the curious monkey. That is why I am so fortunate. Many hours are spent feeding, cleaning and taming the little animals but the moments shared cannot be replaced. Learning, teaching; we're equals. They need me and I need them. Is it hard? Of course. Is it exhausting? Most days. Would I change anything? Not a chance! I never saw it coming but I am proud to be a Zookeeper and happy to share my joy, sorrows, hopes and fears with anyone who wants to come and visit...