I am a creature of habit. How many of us know that the power is out but still continue to push buttons on the microwave before realizing that it's not going to work? Or flip the light switch while holding a flashlight in your hand?
Well, I did not have a power outage but I did have a burned out light in my pantry. Gasp. I spend more time in my pantry than I do my bedroom so I'm sure the lifeline was due to expire.
It was the dreaded sound of switch and Pop! Argh. I am perfectly capable of changing a light bulb but admittedly dislike and avoid doing it at all costs. It's a ceiling fixture. You have to get the stool, find a screwdriver and hold the replacement bulb under your chin until your ready for it. You have to strike a balance conscious yoga pose as your arms are stretched in the air losing all blood and getting weaker with each wrist pivot. All the while you're explaining your every move to the curious toddler standing below with one foot on your stool and two arms around your legs, hoping you don't fall backwards dropping the bulb or light fixture in the process causing you to rush to rescue said toddler. Once you've got the easy part over, you then have to reunite the glass with the hardware that makes a terrible sound as the screws screech back into place! Eek! Yes, I can raise four wild animals who are likely to attack at any minute but shudder at the thought of having to replace the light bulb in a closed ceiling fixture.
Mr. Zookeeper is really good at it so I let him flex his talents. What do I do while patiently waiting? The only logical thing left to do. I enter the room, flip the switch, remember it's out (think about replacing the bulb), squint until my eyes adjust and finally, to protect the earth, I responsibly return the switch to it's off position.
I did this for a few days and began laughing at how long it would take me to walk into the pantry and remember the light was out. Being me is a blessing and a curse. I taped a piece of paper to the back of my pantry door and every time I repeated my forgetful ritual, I counted it with a marked line. Those who know me do not doubt that I actually did this!
After 17 marks, I was embarrassed for myself! It had been nearly a week since the light was out and I didn't know whether to laugh that I was still trying to turn it on or give myself a scolding for not just replacing the light bulb! I chose to go with the first option.
As I raised my pen to make the 18th mark, I realized that my little scrap of paper looked different. I looked up and yes. Light bulb.
Apparently Mr. Zookeeper had changed it the day (or two) before and I was having too much fun laughing at myself and making marks to even realize I wasn't squinting anymore!
I wonder how many times I flipped the switch and went about my newest ritual before discovering I could see the whole time? Hmm...
1.31.2012
1.26.2012
following the followers
Geese fly in perfect formation. They shape their infamous V and each takes a turn leading. Appearing effortless, they know where they're going and when to rotate. The leader guides his flock and then hangs back while another member takes his place in the front. Should one goose go down, two others follow and stay with him until he's able to get back up. They join a new flock and resume their journey knowing that they'll see their family soon.
We all need to take our turn leading but no one can do it relentlessly. We're all destined to learn by following at some times throughout our lives. The question is, are they going in the same direction you are? Maybe they're following pigeons dressed as geese giving bad directions so they're not alone all winter long. Perhaps they don't know how wonderful the south feels or are just too scared to admit they don't know the way. If you lose your flock and go down you can join up with another flock, but make sure you're after the same things before you start drinking their water and relying on their self proclaimed expertise.
Furthermore, if you're capable of leading your flock in the right direction, why would you follow the lost flock into a hurricane? Following the followers only makes you dizzy. The inexperienced flock can try to convince you it's fun and independent, but really?
A wrong turn here and a doddle there will land you right in the middle of the field during hunting season!
Are you willing to risk everything because you got behind the wrong flock of geese or are you going to spread your wings further and trust the path you were on. Will you get lost in and suffer the storm, just so you're not alone and then hope that someday you make it to your destination? Or, are you strong enough to fly out in front? When you are determined to get to safety, to the "south" and to your family- there will be times that you don't see anyone in front of or beside you; that's because they're behind you! They were waiting for someone like you to come along and they are depending on you to show them the way.
Don't shy away from other flocks. Indeed, there are many lost geese flying in circles hoping to one day be shown the way out of the hunter's field. But, if you find yourself surrounded by a group that is clearly off course, don't be afraid to take the lead! There may be more than just your life depending on it...
We all need to take our turn leading but no one can do it relentlessly. We're all destined to learn by following at some times throughout our lives. The question is, are they going in the same direction you are? Maybe they're following pigeons dressed as geese giving bad directions so they're not alone all winter long. Perhaps they don't know how wonderful the south feels or are just too scared to admit they don't know the way. If you lose your flock and go down you can join up with another flock, but make sure you're after the same things before you start drinking their water and relying on their self proclaimed expertise.
Furthermore, if you're capable of leading your flock in the right direction, why would you follow the lost flock into a hurricane? Following the followers only makes you dizzy. The inexperienced flock can try to convince you it's fun and independent, but really?
A wrong turn here and a doddle there will land you right in the middle of the field during hunting season!
Are you willing to risk everything because you got behind the wrong flock of geese or are you going to spread your wings further and trust the path you were on. Will you get lost in and suffer the storm, just so you're not alone and then hope that someday you make it to your destination? Or, are you strong enough to fly out in front? When you are determined to get to safety, to the "south" and to your family- there will be times that you don't see anyone in front of or beside you; that's because they're behind you! They were waiting for someone like you to come along and they are depending on you to show them the way.
Don't shy away from other flocks. Indeed, there are many lost geese flying in circles hoping to one day be shown the way out of the hunter's field. But, if you find yourself surrounded by a group that is clearly off course, don't be afraid to take the lead! There may be more than just your life depending on it...
1.25.2012
Kryptonite
We all have our kryptonites. One of mine is my body.
I am not talking about stretch marks, wrinkles or mid section food storage. While those things do annoy from time to time, there are other issues that I cannot cure by avoiding the mirror. I have the symptoms and daily reminders of multiple sclerosis, diabetes and neuropathy. I have undergone every test to confirm the doctors' diagnosis but have always received passing marks. Apparently, I am as healthy as a mother of four can be. Nonetheless, to a lesser extent I must still follow the lifestyles of the said disorders, diagnosis or not. On one hand, this is very frustrating. When I'm down I seek validation and a reason to feel so terrible and helpless. On the other hand, I am grateful to not have as many struggles as those fully diagnosed and insurances can't deny or raise your rates without a proper diagnosis. Spending over $5000 two years ago to find out why my hands and feet were numb along with bad eyesight and crippling headaches left me disheartened when the doctors were just as puzzled as I was.
It took me a little while to accept this as a blessing. The doctors confirmed what I had suspected but since there was no finale; I was able to gain the knowledge I needed to care for myself without being tied to doctors, diagnosis' or drugs.
I have since figured out what works for my body and what it takes to feel at optimum operating levels. Alas, some days this is easier than others. It's to bed at a certain time (yeah right), up at a certain time (yeah right), eat a specific food (which does not include whatever is easy to feed the kids) at the designated time (is anyone else sensing a theme here?) and perform specific exercises while not under or over doing it (I'm lucky to potty alone!) . This is fine when all I have to care for is myself but let's face it; that is not always a luxury that moms have. And, sometimes, I am my worst enemy. I get a little energy, feel good and end up taking on too much trying to save the world at my own expense.
My kryptonite cripples me. I can't stand, I can't sit and laying down makes it worse so self designated nap times have no benefit. Some days I walk around on crutches to keep from collapsing. I wear an eye patch to not only play pirates but to give my eyes rest and I have to refrain from all sugar (which for this ice cream loving mom is no easy task).
It is hard. Many times I wonder why I can't just be healthy enough to take care of my kids and I am reminded that I matter too. I am very in tune with my body and know when I've done too much (listening is a different story). I know that if my body wasn't calling out to me it would be too tempting to ignore it altogether. I can't spend too many days down because my wild animals are only so forgiving. The first day I can explain that mommy needs help but by the second I must return to high alert and be ready to sprint and/or tackle at any moment Tiger decides to bail.
It's easy to feel sorry for oneself. After all, I have already given up many things for my unique family dynamics. They have all worked out for the best but it has come with sacrifice. Then I am reminded that every one is fighting a battle and that most of the work that gets done in this world is done by people who don't feel very good. The question should not be "Why me", but "What now?" (Press On, Joseph B. Wirthlin) I received strength when I have needed it and I have been reminded that I have weaknesses that can only be strengthened by testimony in a higher power.
No one is immune to pain, suffering and grief. No one is happy all of the time and regardless of how Super we are- we all have our kryptonite.
Indeed, we are all human. We must all know the bad to recognize the good and we must all overcome trials. I know that my body is imperfect but that does not limit the things my Spirit can do. Whenever I'm reminded of my weaknesses and I find it hard to run, I beg my Spirit to convince my body that I must carry on, even if it's only one small step at a time...
I am not talking about stretch marks, wrinkles or mid section food storage. While those things do annoy from time to time, there are other issues that I cannot cure by avoiding the mirror. I have the symptoms and daily reminders of multiple sclerosis, diabetes and neuropathy. I have undergone every test to confirm the doctors' diagnosis but have always received passing marks. Apparently, I am as healthy as a mother of four can be. Nonetheless, to a lesser extent I must still follow the lifestyles of the said disorders, diagnosis or not. On one hand, this is very frustrating. When I'm down I seek validation and a reason to feel so terrible and helpless. On the other hand, I am grateful to not have as many struggles as those fully diagnosed and insurances can't deny or raise your rates without a proper diagnosis. Spending over $5000 two years ago to find out why my hands and feet were numb along with bad eyesight and crippling headaches left me disheartened when the doctors were just as puzzled as I was.
It took me a little while to accept this as a blessing. The doctors confirmed what I had suspected but since there was no finale; I was able to gain the knowledge I needed to care for myself without being tied to doctors, diagnosis' or drugs.
I have since figured out what works for my body and what it takes to feel at optimum operating levels. Alas, some days this is easier than others. It's to bed at a certain time (yeah right), up at a certain time (yeah right), eat a specific food (which does not include whatever is easy to feed the kids) at the designated time (is anyone else sensing a theme here?) and perform specific exercises while not under or over doing it (I'm lucky to potty alone!) . This is fine when all I have to care for is myself but let's face it; that is not always a luxury that moms have. And, sometimes, I am my worst enemy. I get a little energy, feel good and end up taking on too much trying to save the world at my own expense.
My kryptonite cripples me. I can't stand, I can't sit and laying down makes it worse so self designated nap times have no benefit. Some days I walk around on crutches to keep from collapsing. I wear an eye patch to not only play pirates but to give my eyes rest and I have to refrain from all sugar (which for this ice cream loving mom is no easy task).
It is hard. Many times I wonder why I can't just be healthy enough to take care of my kids and I am reminded that I matter too. I am very in tune with my body and know when I've done too much (listening is a different story). I know that if my body wasn't calling out to me it would be too tempting to ignore it altogether. I can't spend too many days down because my wild animals are only so forgiving. The first day I can explain that mommy needs help but by the second I must return to high alert and be ready to sprint and/or tackle at any moment Tiger decides to bail.
It's easy to feel sorry for oneself. After all, I have already given up many things for my unique family dynamics. They have all worked out for the best but it has come with sacrifice. Then I am reminded that every one is fighting a battle and that most of the work that gets done in this world is done by people who don't feel very good. The question should not be "Why me", but "What now?" (Press On, Joseph B. Wirthlin) I received strength when I have needed it and I have been reminded that I have weaknesses that can only be strengthened by testimony in a higher power.
No one is immune to pain, suffering and grief. No one is happy all of the time and regardless of how Super we are- we all have our kryptonite.
Indeed, we are all human. We must all know the bad to recognize the good and we must all overcome trials. I know that my body is imperfect but that does not limit the things my Spirit can do. Whenever I'm reminded of my weaknesses and I find it hard to run, I beg my Spirit to convince my body that I must carry on, even if it's only one small step at a time...
1.19.2012
use your words...
Animals don't have words so they make sounds. We may study and observe but we may also never really understand what message they are getting across.(And that might be better for us, they could be mocking us for wearing clothes for all we know!) Nevertheless, their communication is effective for them.
If I was handed a dime for every time I turned to my children and uttered, "use your words," I would have enough money to buy a year supply of ketchup! (hmmm.. maybe I should look into investor opportunities, I digress.)
From special needs to tantrum-filled toddlers, "use your words" is a part of my daily vocabulary check list.
Too often as mothers, though, we spend more time giving advice for healthy growing than we do taking it. "Here, Take my advice- I'm not using it anyway..."
I have never had a problem with words, as you can tell I usually find too many of them, but I have always struggled with using my words to communicate what it is I want. If ever you had this mislead perfected image of me embedded in your mind, prepare to be grounded. I am a people pleaser. This does not mean I am fake or an ever changing chameleon but rather I do not like to inconvenience other people and I feel terrible when I do. I'd rather rearrange my entire day than make someone wait five minutes for me. This is not always a bad thing but everything needs balance. As a mother it's not just me that I'm rescheduling for or running faster with. I would probably walk in the rain before calling for a ride just because I wouldn't want to make anyway go out of their way. And well, let's face it- that's just dumb.
Overall I do okay, but it is in those times that I cannot control that I see how much others want to help. I just need to use my words.
When things work out, I get reinforced to try that again but when it doesn't, I get out my hammer and nails and start building protective walls. Because I worry so much about other people, I assume there are millions out there worrying about me; so when you can't find an answer it's really disheartening and "I" begin to think it's because I don't have many friends or don't really matter to many. I know this sounds really depressing- like the part of the nature show where the Zebra is just left there to die.
It is sad, but it also the circle of life (we won't get into theme music just yet). A little disappointment and mild depressing times is what urges us to make changes in our life. To know this isn't working allows us to dig deeper and find out what we're really made of. The zebra, sadly, is toast and will soon become one with the earth but without the full circle- there is no progression. (enter theme music)
I recently had experiences that left me envying the doomed zebra. Things got so hard that I too was just lying there wishing the pain would stop. I had been wounded physically, mentally and emotionally and it seemed easier to wish I was a meal for the higher food chain because he at least knew it was almost over. But unlike the zebra, I had to find a way to heal my wounds and not only rejoin the herd but get back out in front again. They needed me and I needed me.
The medicine? Using my words. Not just these words that allow me to find out about myself (and for your entertainment or torture) but the ones I used everyday. The ones that told those around me what I wanted and really needed. It was a tough lesson to learn but I can now speak from experience that using your words is so much better than dramatizing like a dying cockroach on the floor and getting sent to your room for a tantrum. Honesty is not always easy but it does indeed set you free!
I learned in a recent class what it means to be assertive. It is not pushy, overbearing or aggression. It is making your wishes and desires known because you matter. It is using your words and being heard.
I fought it. I did not know how to draw the line between being heard and yelling. I did not want to become the pushy person that I'd always feared; the kind that made it so easy for me to people please because they left me no choice but to argue or succumb.
Then, it became one of my last choices. When you walk into a room and see your husband kneeling down in prayer in your behalf, you become very aware that others love you but cannot help you until you help yourself.
Little engines can do big things and so I mustered all the strength I had and asked for help.
I followed Mr. Zookeeper's example and used my words in prayer because I felt like only the creator of volcanoes knew how to get one to stop erupting. One good thing about prayer is that Heavenly Father already knows we're not perfect so you can skip that part and your words don't have to make sense because he will hear them but can accurately piece them with your thoughts that you couldn't find the words for.
I received strength. I asked for help from my family, specific help. I told them what I was keeping inside and how it was affecting me. I knew if anyone would love me in spite of my faults it was them. I wrote an essay (for an assignment- I'm not that weird) that again allowed me to use my words to discover what was on my mind. Sometimes having to put our thoughts into words allows us to piece all of the randomness that goes on in there... and in my brain- it is like high speed trains with no tracks for regulation.
Finally, I was compelled to look the lion straight in the face and tell him that he was going to have to find another meal because this was just not working out for me. There were tears. My voice was shaking and I took up two hours of the life of the poor teacher that drew the short straw in getting stuck with me. She no doubt walked away wondering why she became an elementary teacher and not a therapist since the pay would be better but I walked away knowing she was heaven sent.
I used my words to tell her how it was hard trying to keep up with the demands of my family on top of the demands of the online schooling. I told her how my family dynamic was different than others they service and the program was not working for us anymore. I stumbled but found the words to tell her I felt like I was failing and needed help. I of course didn't tell her that I was also in school myself and actively engaged in serving my church or that I have to make 9 meals a day and scrub walls every hour- because I didn't want her to know all of the other areas I was also struggling in. But I did tell her everything concerning the children's education. I knew I could handle all of the steps I had to take in a given day but I had to find the right pace so I didn't wear myself out before lunch. Like a mother who calms her child, I was comforted. I was sent to the principal, which in this case was a good thing, and we began working out our obstacles. You can take many steps in one day, you just can't take them all at once.
It has been a long five months. I started as being prey to the more assertive pride and gradually worked my way up the food chain. I used my words to express what I needed and much to my surprise I was heard. Things are now working out for the better. I still have all of the same responsibilities but I am driving the crazy bus instead of just gripping at the bumper in attempt to keep up.
The wild is filled with sounds of communicating. Sometimes it's pretty and other times it's obnoxious but both allows the creature to be heard. I still have lots of learning to do. I still have lots of advice to try out myself but I am getting there. I spend my energy working through issues instead of screaming them into my pillow and I have even started showering again. I come across many road blocks but am learning how to ask for directions, even if it means changing course and making a new map.
Learning to be assertive let me be more honest which gave me time to deal with matters of importance. My husband still prays for me but his eyes are filled with joy instead of worry (probably because I showered) and my children are much happier learning and spreading ketchup all over the walls knowing that mom will demonstrate once again how to use a napkin rather than sprinkling it on them and devouring their innocent souls.
So children, if there is something you need, want or just have to say; don't be afraid to use your words and mom will try harder to do that too...
If I was handed a dime for every time I turned to my children and uttered, "use your words," I would have enough money to buy a year supply of ketchup! (hmmm.. maybe I should look into investor opportunities, I digress.)
From special needs to tantrum-filled toddlers, "use your words" is a part of my daily vocabulary check list.
Too often as mothers, though, we spend more time giving advice for healthy growing than we do taking it. "Here, Take my advice- I'm not using it anyway..."
I have never had a problem with words, as you can tell I usually find too many of them, but I have always struggled with using my words to communicate what it is I want. If ever you had this mislead perfected image of me embedded in your mind, prepare to be grounded. I am a people pleaser. This does not mean I am fake or an ever changing chameleon but rather I do not like to inconvenience other people and I feel terrible when I do. I'd rather rearrange my entire day than make someone wait five minutes for me. This is not always a bad thing but everything needs balance. As a mother it's not just me that I'm rescheduling for or running faster with. I would probably walk in the rain before calling for a ride just because I wouldn't want to make anyway go out of their way. And well, let's face it- that's just dumb.
Overall I do okay, but it is in those times that I cannot control that I see how much others want to help. I just need to use my words.
When things work out, I get reinforced to try that again but when it doesn't, I get out my hammer and nails and start building protective walls. Because I worry so much about other people, I assume there are millions out there worrying about me; so when you can't find an answer it's really disheartening and "I" begin to think it's because I don't have many friends or don't really matter to many. I know this sounds really depressing- like the part of the nature show where the Zebra is just left there to die.
It is sad, but it also the circle of life (we won't get into theme music just yet). A little disappointment and mild depressing times is what urges us to make changes in our life. To know this isn't working allows us to dig deeper and find out what we're really made of. The zebra, sadly, is toast and will soon become one with the earth but without the full circle- there is no progression. (enter theme music)
I recently had experiences that left me envying the doomed zebra. Things got so hard that I too was just lying there wishing the pain would stop. I had been wounded physically, mentally and emotionally and it seemed easier to wish I was a meal for the higher food chain because he at least knew it was almost over. But unlike the zebra, I had to find a way to heal my wounds and not only rejoin the herd but get back out in front again. They needed me and I needed me.
The medicine? Using my words. Not just these words that allow me to find out about myself (and for your entertainment or torture) but the ones I used everyday. The ones that told those around me what I wanted and really needed. It was a tough lesson to learn but I can now speak from experience that using your words is so much better than dramatizing like a dying cockroach on the floor and getting sent to your room for a tantrum. Honesty is not always easy but it does indeed set you free!
I learned in a recent class what it means to be assertive. It is not pushy, overbearing or aggression. It is making your wishes and desires known because you matter. It is using your words and being heard.
I fought it. I did not know how to draw the line between being heard and yelling. I did not want to become the pushy person that I'd always feared; the kind that made it so easy for me to people please because they left me no choice but to argue or succumb.
Then, it became one of my last choices. When you walk into a room and see your husband kneeling down in prayer in your behalf, you become very aware that others love you but cannot help you until you help yourself.
Little engines can do big things and so I mustered all the strength I had and asked for help.
I followed Mr. Zookeeper's example and used my words in prayer because I felt like only the creator of volcanoes knew how to get one to stop erupting. One good thing about prayer is that Heavenly Father already knows we're not perfect so you can skip that part and your words don't have to make sense because he will hear them but can accurately piece them with your thoughts that you couldn't find the words for.
I received strength. I asked for help from my family, specific help. I told them what I was keeping inside and how it was affecting me. I knew if anyone would love me in spite of my faults it was them. I wrote an essay (for an assignment- I'm not that weird) that again allowed me to use my words to discover what was on my mind. Sometimes having to put our thoughts into words allows us to piece all of the randomness that goes on in there... and in my brain- it is like high speed trains with no tracks for regulation.
Finally, I was compelled to look the lion straight in the face and tell him that he was going to have to find another meal because this was just not working out for me. There were tears. My voice was shaking and I took up two hours of the life of the poor teacher that drew the short straw in getting stuck with me. She no doubt walked away wondering why she became an elementary teacher and not a therapist since the pay would be better but I walked away knowing she was heaven sent.
I used my words to tell her how it was hard trying to keep up with the demands of my family on top of the demands of the online schooling. I told her how my family dynamic was different than others they service and the program was not working for us anymore. I stumbled but found the words to tell her I felt like I was failing and needed help. I of course didn't tell her that I was also in school myself and actively engaged in serving my church or that I have to make 9 meals a day and scrub walls every hour- because I didn't want her to know all of the other areas I was also struggling in. But I did tell her everything concerning the children's education. I knew I could handle all of the steps I had to take in a given day but I had to find the right pace so I didn't wear myself out before lunch. Like a mother who calms her child, I was comforted. I was sent to the principal, which in this case was a good thing, and we began working out our obstacles. You can take many steps in one day, you just can't take them all at once.
It has been a long five months. I started as being prey to the more assertive pride and gradually worked my way up the food chain. I used my words to express what I needed and much to my surprise I was heard. Things are now working out for the better. I still have all of the same responsibilities but I am driving the crazy bus instead of just gripping at the bumper in attempt to keep up.
The wild is filled with sounds of communicating. Sometimes it's pretty and other times it's obnoxious but both allows the creature to be heard. I still have lots of learning to do. I still have lots of advice to try out myself but I am getting there. I spend my energy working through issues instead of screaming them into my pillow and I have even started showering again. I come across many road blocks but am learning how to ask for directions, even if it means changing course and making a new map.
Learning to be assertive let me be more honest which gave me time to deal with matters of importance. My husband still prays for me but his eyes are filled with joy instead of worry (probably because I showered) and my children are much happier learning and spreading ketchup all over the walls knowing that mom will demonstrate once again how to use a napkin rather than sprinkling it on them and devouring their innocent souls.
So children, if there is something you need, want or just have to say; don't be afraid to use your words and mom will try harder to do that too...
1.10.2012
I'll be a little more specific next time...
I'm in the middle of updating attendance, organizing schedules and answering teachers' emails so I give the kids an early lunch break. They ask if they can watch some TV while they eat- I'm cool like that so I say, "Sure- but it needs to be something good, not junk."
Sesame Street is on and I'm thinking- score, they can pick up where I left off with our lessons...
Puppy announces she does not want to watch that and Rhino graciously offers to help her find something with dinosaurs in it for him and fighting for Tiger... and the girl wears purple so Monkey will like it to.
I see what they're watching- Dino Squad (a cartoon about teenagers who transform into dinosaurs to fight bad guys)- and question whether or not they heard me.
"I said it had to teach you something- not just entertain.."
Rhino has never disobeyed and rebuttals, "I know Mom- this teaches us about working together and saving the earth."
Well played Rhino- Well Played...
Sesame Street is on and I'm thinking- score, they can pick up where I left off with our lessons...
Puppy announces she does not want to watch that and Rhino graciously offers to help her find something with dinosaurs in it for him and fighting for Tiger... and the girl wears purple so Monkey will like it to.
I see what they're watching- Dino Squad (a cartoon about teenagers who transform into dinosaurs to fight bad guys)- and question whether or not they heard me.
"I said it had to teach you something- not just entertain.."
Rhino has never disobeyed and rebuttals, "I know Mom- this teaches us about working together and saving the earth."
Well played Rhino- Well Played...
1.05.2012
Tiger the Superhero
Tiger! You made it- You are 8 years old today! 8 years ago you woke me up and informed me it was time to get moving... this morning was no different, but then again, you've always been consistent.
And what an 8 years it has been! You and I have had one fantastic roller coaster ride and it's not over yet. 5 years ago today I put my non-verbal son on a bus and waved goodbye as you drove to class with your blankie. You loved twirling your fingers around the yarns and sometimes it was all you would do. Today we are doing your schooling together and the only blanket you'll hold on to is the one I have you wrapped up in as I roll you up like a burrito and spin you around at your request.
Instead of looking idly on you'll spend your day conversing and playing with your siblings who have become your best friends. You want to do everything with them now and they love you too- never wanting you to be left out of anything.
You are active and refuse to waist one minute of life! You remind me not to take a single opportunity for a laugh for granted.
You don't have all of the words you need yet to express all that you have stored in that smart mind of yours- but it's coming a little bit more every day. What you cannot say is written on your face and you too enjoy watching yourself live life and look for mirrors at every opportunity.
Some people look at you as trapped inside this disorder. They don't know the real you. You do in fact have autism as part of who you are but like every superhero you have your own identity. You do what you want when you want even if it means wearing your swimming shorts, snow boots, pajama top, headphones and cowboy hat- you are your own person without any regard to what anyone else thinks of you. You're a Superhero by day and my angel by night (unless you feel the need to fight crime at 2:30 in the morning which happens often). No one tells you how to save the world but you. You dance to your own beat and sometimes do it in your sister's tights or brothers alligator costume. You say, or squeal what you think and only tell what's in your heart. That, my son, is ultimate freedom!
We work together to harness your fighting spirit (even superheroes need training) but as I'm helping you master your body here on earth, I always look into yours eyes and know there's a warrior spirit in there with a mission beyond my comprehension. I know that being in your presence is an honor and I do not take the responsibility of being your mother lightly. Every human being has the potential to learn, you are here on earth to learn but you are also here to teach.
Our bodies are a gift and you must learn that 6 lbs of ketchup smeared on fries and my table is not the best diet for any person; but you teach me more everyday as you remind me what really matters in the eternal perspective. You are a superhero!
You are a light that refuses to be hidden. Your eyes see what others miss and your always genuine smile is contagious. You laugh at things that we don't have time to notice and you treat everyday like the adventure that it is.
When I ask you how old you are, you answer, "Good." And right you are! Age is just a number anyway, right? It's how you feel that counts.
This is the first year you've wanted to share your birthday with friends. So, we've invited a few from church to come to your house and train to be a superhero just like you do... because the world is need of more children just like you!
I love you my little superhero and everyday you save me a little more!
Happy Birthday Tiger!
And what an 8 years it has been! You and I have had one fantastic roller coaster ride and it's not over yet. 5 years ago today I put my non-verbal son on a bus and waved goodbye as you drove to class with your blankie. You loved twirling your fingers around the yarns and sometimes it was all you would do. Today we are doing your schooling together and the only blanket you'll hold on to is the one I have you wrapped up in as I roll you up like a burrito and spin you around at your request.
Instead of looking idly on you'll spend your day conversing and playing with your siblings who have become your best friends. You want to do everything with them now and they love you too- never wanting you to be left out of anything.
You are active and refuse to waist one minute of life! You remind me not to take a single opportunity for a laugh for granted.
You don't have all of the words you need yet to express all that you have stored in that smart mind of yours- but it's coming a little bit more every day. What you cannot say is written on your face and you too enjoy watching yourself live life and look for mirrors at every opportunity.
Some people look at you as trapped inside this disorder. They don't know the real you. You do in fact have autism as part of who you are but like every superhero you have your own identity. You do what you want when you want even if it means wearing your swimming shorts, snow boots, pajama top, headphones and cowboy hat- you are your own person without any regard to what anyone else thinks of you. You're a Superhero by day and my angel by night (unless you feel the need to fight crime at 2:30 in the morning which happens often). No one tells you how to save the world but you. You dance to your own beat and sometimes do it in your sister's tights or brothers alligator costume. You say, or squeal what you think and only tell what's in your heart. That, my son, is ultimate freedom!
We work together to harness your fighting spirit (even superheroes need training) but as I'm helping you master your body here on earth, I always look into yours eyes and know there's a warrior spirit in there with a mission beyond my comprehension. I know that being in your presence is an honor and I do not take the responsibility of being your mother lightly. Every human being has the potential to learn, you are here on earth to learn but you are also here to teach.
Our bodies are a gift and you must learn that 6 lbs of ketchup smeared on fries and my table is not the best diet for any person; but you teach me more everyday as you remind me what really matters in the eternal perspective. You are a superhero!
You are a light that refuses to be hidden. Your eyes see what others miss and your always genuine smile is contagious. You laugh at things that we don't have time to notice and you treat everyday like the adventure that it is.
When I ask you how old you are, you answer, "Good." And right you are! Age is just a number anyway, right? It's how you feel that counts.
This is the first year you've wanted to share your birthday with friends. So, we've invited a few from church to come to your house and train to be a superhero just like you do... because the world is need of more children just like you!
I love you my little superhero and everyday you save me a little more!
Happy Birthday Tiger!
1.03.2012
walking on water!
"On land, penguins are clumsy. They either waddle on their feet or slide on their belly across the snow. However, they can actually run as fast or faster than most humans. They slide on their stomachs, called 'tobogganing', to conserve energy and move relatively fast at the same time"(http://www.everythingpreschool.com/themes/winteranimals/encyclopedia.php)
I'm not sure if what we were doing was in attempt to conserve energy or just a simple lack of skill but the six of us rang in our new year looking like a family of penguins out on the ice.
First of all, I would like to point out that we usually spend our New Year holiday sledding down hills of snow... but after the third try of sledding down snow-less hills and coming up with mouthfuls of dirt and grass stains; we opted for another tradition, at least until some real sledding material falls.
We have a wetlands pond just behind our house that freezes over every year and every year we say we're going to skate on it but this was the first year we actually did. (You see, there's no need to travel because there really is so much to do right in your own back yard!)
I dressed everyone up like Eskimos and completed my supplies checklist. I met the family outside and we walked towards the pond; halfway there we all started taking off layers as it was so warm (50 degrees so I was told) and I was really wishing I hadn't put my tights on under my long underwear under my jeans...
I suggested we stick to the little pond but before I could raise my banner of rules Tiger was already testing the bigger one. I immediately sent Mr. Zookeeper to check the stability of the ice and when he gave the go ahead- we all went ahead.
I raised the bet that I would be the first one to fall- I would just like to mention that I did not fall once (where anyone could see me, thus it didn't count) but I cannot say the same for the kids. Monkey walked across the ice with ease but once she insisted on walking alone she couldn't stay up for long... there is a reason we padded her little bum! I insisted she needed help and she insisted she did not; eventually we got her in the wagon and let her feel independent while resting her backside on a blanket. She was offended that the ice was cold... what was mother nature thinking by making her ice cold?
Puppy is my child. She had a hard time enjoying herself because she was worried about everyone's well being. I spend every minute of every walk telling the kids (TIGER) to stay away from the water and now I was encouraging them to dive in? Once I convinced her that the ice was not melting fast enough to drown us and that she would not sink without us knowing- she had a blast turning in circles! (but I think she was doing that just to keep an active eye on all of us)... either way, Puppy requested we use real skates next time and not just our shoes.
FYI- it might be a few years before I strap blades to bottom of my clumsy, reckless and talented at ignoring me children...
Tiger was amazing. He ran across the ice as if he was on the savannah! He fell one time and then enjoyed it so much that he kept throwing himself at the ice... tobogganing I guess you would call it. Ice must effect a Tiger's hearing because he did not hear a word we said... especially when the word was slow down or wait for me. Because he was so eager, we all saw the back side of the swamp area and traveled upstream right into some barbed wire... I'd like to mention that pokey fences do in fact keep out most animals but it takes a lot more than sharp wire to detour a Tiger.
Rhino was ecstatic to use his sharp PVC pipe and sprinkler stake to carve in the ice. (The pipe and stake are his favorite toys but that's another story) He got to walk out to the "island" that I never let him swim out to and was able to discover that he is lighter on his feet than he (and I) realized.
Mr. Zookeeper cheated. Yes, he did. He wore his ice spike shoe covers and thus never slid, sliced or fell against the ice. He says it's knowing his limits; I still say it's cheating but am glad he came anyway. I did forgive him when it was my turn in the little Fisher Price wagon and his grip allowed him to push me great distances. See, I am an understanding person after all- always willing to take one for the team.
I of course also worked on my double and triple axles while perfecting my one-man lifts... next time I will try skating them out instead of just rehearsing them in my mind while grasping at every branch in attempt of trying to keep my balance. What? Every girl is a swan princess in her own way and if I looked ungraceful at any time it's because I didn't have spikes on my shoes! But I would like to put in a word for the fabulous workout that maintaining your balance on slippery ice provides, my buns are burning and it's not from using them as landing gear...
Rhino can't wait to go back, Tiger will now be impossible to keep away (the advantage of driving is that they can't escape because it's not just in their own backyard- let's just hope he realizes the difference between frozen and NOT!) Puppy overcame her fear of being the next Titanic and Monkey had to go the bathroom (Don't eat yellow snowbanks). We got to spend time with the kids and no one got hurt or lost so overall it was a great outing.
The hot chocolate we went home to might have been more refreshing if it was frozen (we were all so hot when we finished) but maybe we'll try that next time.
Some animals run and some animals swim; then there's us who get a kick out of trying to walk on (Frozen) water...
I'm not sure if what we were doing was in attempt to conserve energy or just a simple lack of skill but the six of us rang in our new year looking like a family of penguins out on the ice.
First of all, I would like to point out that we usually spend our New Year holiday sledding down hills of snow... but after the third try of sledding down snow-less hills and coming up with mouthfuls of dirt and grass stains; we opted for another tradition, at least until some real sledding material falls.
We have a wetlands pond just behind our house that freezes over every year and every year we say we're going to skate on it but this was the first year we actually did. (You see, there's no need to travel because there really is so much to do right in your own back yard!)
I dressed everyone up like Eskimos and completed my supplies checklist. I met the family outside and we walked towards the pond; halfway there we all started taking off layers as it was so warm (50 degrees so I was told) and I was really wishing I hadn't put my tights on under my long underwear under my jeans...
I suggested we stick to the little pond but before I could raise my banner of rules Tiger was already testing the bigger one. I immediately sent Mr. Zookeeper to check the stability of the ice and when he gave the go ahead- we all went ahead.
I raised the bet that I would be the first one to fall- I would just like to mention that I did not fall once (where anyone could see me, thus it didn't count) but I cannot say the same for the kids. Monkey walked across the ice with ease but once she insisted on walking alone she couldn't stay up for long... there is a reason we padded her little bum! I insisted she needed help and she insisted she did not; eventually we got her in the wagon and let her feel independent while resting her backside on a blanket. She was offended that the ice was cold... what was mother nature thinking by making her ice cold?
Puppy is my child. She had a hard time enjoying herself because she was worried about everyone's well being. I spend every minute of every walk telling the kids (TIGER) to stay away from the water and now I was encouraging them to dive in? Once I convinced her that the ice was not melting fast enough to drown us and that she would not sink without us knowing- she had a blast turning in circles! (but I think she was doing that just to keep an active eye on all of us)... either way, Puppy requested we use real skates next time and not just our shoes.
FYI- it might be a few years before I strap blades to bottom of my clumsy, reckless and talented at ignoring me children...
Tiger was amazing. He ran across the ice as if he was on the savannah! He fell one time and then enjoyed it so much that he kept throwing himself at the ice... tobogganing I guess you would call it. Ice must effect a Tiger's hearing because he did not hear a word we said... especially when the word was slow down or wait for me. Because he was so eager, we all saw the back side of the swamp area and traveled upstream right into some barbed wire... I'd like to mention that pokey fences do in fact keep out most animals but it takes a lot more than sharp wire to detour a Tiger.
Rhino was ecstatic to use his sharp PVC pipe and sprinkler stake to carve in the ice. (The pipe and stake are his favorite toys but that's another story) He got to walk out to the "island" that I never let him swim out to and was able to discover that he is lighter on his feet than he (and I) realized.
Mr. Zookeeper cheated. Yes, he did. He wore his ice spike shoe covers and thus never slid, sliced or fell against the ice. He says it's knowing his limits; I still say it's cheating but am glad he came anyway. I did forgive him when it was my turn in the little Fisher Price wagon and his grip allowed him to push me great distances. See, I am an understanding person after all- always willing to take one for the team.
I of course also worked on my double and triple axles while perfecting my one-man lifts... next time I will try skating them out instead of just rehearsing them in my mind while grasping at every branch in attempt of trying to keep my balance. What? Every girl is a swan princess in her own way and if I looked ungraceful at any time it's because I didn't have spikes on my shoes! But I would like to put in a word for the fabulous workout that maintaining your balance on slippery ice provides, my buns are burning and it's not from using them as landing gear...
Rhino can't wait to go back, Tiger will now be impossible to keep away (the advantage of driving is that they can't escape because it's not just in their own backyard- let's just hope he realizes the difference between frozen and NOT!) Puppy overcame her fear of being the next Titanic and Monkey had to go the bathroom (Don't eat yellow snowbanks). We got to spend time with the kids and no one got hurt or lost so overall it was a great outing.
The hot chocolate we went home to might have been more refreshing if it was frozen (we were all so hot when we finished) but maybe we'll try that next time.
Some animals run and some animals swim; then there's us who get a kick out of trying to walk on (Frozen) water...
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