My boys started riding a bus when they were three so first and third grade are no big deal for me. (My biggest problem is trying to figure out what to do with a four year old at home!) In fact, it's usually comforting for everyone to get back to a schedule and get back to work. I wouldn't trade our summers and vacation time for anything in the world but we are meant to learn and grow and we do that through playing but also through schooling. I am grateful to all of the teachers that have helped me get my boys where they are today... and for all the teachers who can take a hit to the face, a bite on the arm and a good clean fight of who can sit there the longest before someone gives in and just eats the grape.
This year I had more nerves about school starting than I'd felt in a long time. Only it had nothing to do with the kids and everything to do with me.
It was my turn to go back to school.
After twelve years of nothing but mommy-hood, parent teacher conferences, laundry, dishes and diapers; I am now the student.
I know I'm not the first mom to ever go back to school, far from it- but I never saw this coming. I graduated a year early from high school just to be done. Worked hard to put away money and then emotionally supported a loving husband as he obtained his formal education. After eight years of classes, reports, exams and homework I was just as relieved as he was to be done with school once and for all. Then, a year later my life changed... again.
There I was sweeping the floor when a distinct impression came to my mind to start school. The very next thought, and you'll study psychology.
Without a question in my mind, yet anyway, I told Mr. Zookeeper what I had thought and without missing a beat (which I was afraid of) he agreed. We began talking options and before I knew it I was applying to colleges. Needless to say I don't spend too much leisurely time sweeping floors anymore- it can lead to trouble.
Given my life as a mom, I was not willing to trade one for the other and knew that online schooling was the only way I could do it. It took a full year and a half to get things rolling and now, at age twenty nine I am a freshman in college. I'm not sure what parts will be hardest for me. I am used to running my own schedule, being in charge and basically always being right. Now I will be making deadlines, receiving instructions and being at the mercy of constructive criticism and grades. If that's not a blow to pride I don't know what is.
While I still have no doubts that this is what I should be doing right now, I do wonder where all of this will lead. I have no intentions of ever leaving my position as full time mom and hope the day never comes that I must support my family.
Why this? Why now? Why me?
Rhino says, "What? your homework? Mom's aren't supposed to go to school" and I say, "tell me about it."
I do know that I am excited for this new adventure. Scared yes- especially by the ugly beast known as math. I struggle helping my son with second grade homework let alone my own. But, I know that the things I will learn will help me be a better mom. Whether I study for a short time or go the distance as a fully licensed doctor only time can tell but the education that I will obtain will help me with my boys and with my desire to help other families that also deal with special needs.
I feel so appreciative for this opportunity. Ironically since I would have never wished it for myself but am excited to see where it takes me. Blessed to have a supportive husband, even as he laughs at me knowing that it is my turn and he is done. He has already become my backbone in giving confidence and stepping in while I had homework to do... perhaps that's because he's so grateful it's me and not him? Or maybe it's because he is just the best thing that ever happened to me and I could never take this on without him?
I sort of feel like things are already crazy around here and my time is limited. These would be very good reasons to talk myself out of this jump, but- then I remember the blessing of promptings and can recall a few short breaks in between going potty, redressing monkey, feeding rhino, petting puppy and getting Tiger off the top of the camp trailer so maybe it will work out after all.
Maybe I will be able to better take on these challenges as an adult (hey- I have a mortgage and I can vote- I'm entitled to call myself one if I want) and I will get more out of my studies now that I have a desire to learn and a thirst for knowledge. We should never stop learning. Never stop growing and never underestimate what power we have to make a difference in this world or a difference in our own little worlds. I know that with my experience as a mom and a full education I will be able to do things that right now I only read about in the weekly scholastic reader. Whether it is going back to school or getting a book from the library- knowledge is power. (and that's something I learned in second grade- see- it's already starting to come back to me)
Where will this all lead? I just don't know that yet, but it's going to be one wild ride getting there... and hey- I'm all about adventures!
2 comments:
You can do it! Exciting, challenging, yes. But rewarding. My degree is in Sociology, my minor Psychology. I worked in my field until I got married, and still keep my license, "just in case". But for me, and as my mom keeps telling me, my education is really to help me raise my family. It gives me insights I wouldn't otherwise have, and heaven knows we all need whatever insight we can get! You'll do fine--I am a little jealous, but not about the math--endure and conquer! : )
Thanks Wendi!
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