It was like Cirque Du Soleil gone wrong right in the middle of the scuba diving section! Tiger was upside down sliding down my back and I was holding onto his legs, he tried to grab mine but took my pants off instead! I finally just dropped him in attempt to save mankind. Of course the struggle didn't end there but at least I fought him the rest of the time with my clothes on.
Mr. Zookeeper was slightly luckier, I suppose. He too will have a special security camera tape labeled and saved as the man who ran through the store grasping a pellet gun target like it was a football and he was going for the touchdown. He was looking at the item when Tiger darted off. Instinct set in and he started running. It was actually quite impressive to watch him duck in and around crowds of people. They disappeared out of sight but I was not too alarmed, maybe because my pants were on but I knew he'd work it out or I'd hear my name called across the loud speaker to come and collect him. I'm sure he looked like he was attempting to shoplift and attracted many eyes, including security. Perfect, I thought, they can help catch Tiger! We tend to draw attention in crowds, may as well use it to our advantage.
An elderly man tried to help but Tiger is good. He tucks in his shoulders just as you go to grab them. I saw a large, husky man eying him... maybe his instinct was about to set in and he would get to use his college linebacker skills. I wanted to help save Tiger's life but I was left with a Rhino, Puppy and a Monkey.
Tiger has autism. Monkey has attitude with a side of stubborn. Sometimes I don't know which one is harder.
I'm not sure what the problem was because, "it was too hard to say it." Whatever that really means. I think she was exhausting herself but was not giving up! One thing for sure, she is not a quitter! Rhino went potty (the anticipation of earning a hot dog was too much), Puppy sat quietly in the cart wrapped up in her blanket and Monkey proceeded to reenact the four year old version of Planet of the Apes. Mr. Zookeeper returned, panting, with Tiger and Target in hand. I asked why he didn't just drop the target and he looked at me in confusion.
Carolers sang Christmas songs to the million people gathered around and our two children sang songs of their own though the words and harmony weren't nearly as peaceful. Puppy asked if we'd still get to ride the ferris wheel and I had this flash of hollywood terror. I could see it. Rhino and Puppy trapped in a car by themselves (because the other two can't be trusted) and Puppy throwing up last night's dinner forty feet in the air, because that's just my luck. Rhino would be scoping the place out for free samples and reptiles. I'd be in a car with Tiger probably getting beat up as I tried to keep his hands, feet and buttocks in the car and poor Mr. Zookeeper getting yelled at by a Monkey dangling over the side of the car just to make her point clear. "Maybe we'll come back when it's not so busy- that line looks pretty long and I'm hungry, " I said calmly.
When Mr. Zookeeper got back from chasing Tiger down and back up the escalator, we headed for the checkout. "How's your day" they ask politely... or at least that's what I think they said, I could barely hear over the sound of happy children. Rhino became upset because he didn't get a pogo-stick (that's a whole other image) and Tiger was very confused (and upset) that he didn't earn his pipecleaners. Monkey was starting Planet of the Apes: the musical.
There was a lot to see at the fascinating sporting store (I think, we didn't see much more than what was right in front of us)- however- like most outings, we sort of created a sport of our own. Thank you to the kind man who gave me change for a five so that Tiger could throw balls at something intended to be hit and to all of the kind people who turned away and laughed quietly while I pulled my pants back up... who says there's not good people in this world? I highly recommend the store, there is so much to see and if you want an extra show, come when we're visiting as well, though it may not be suitable for young children...
1 comment:
The best part of this post, in my opinion, were the sequences where you imagined what would happen if you ride the Ferris wheel or whatever. Hilarious. And I do the same thing. We know our kids and if nothing else, we know that they will be unpredictable!
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