There are many different variations of this quote but the meaning is all the same. Fact is, I avoid confrontation because I don't always feel like I know what I am talking about and my voice shakes. There are so many people smarter, more educated and more experienced than I. I have always had my opinions, yes, but had little to back them up other than my beliefs.
I take a backseat in some cases because there are others unafraid to contradict me or very readily give their opinion of what I should do as if I am not capable of thinking for myself. Perhaps I am partly to blame since I allow it by omission. Other times, I do not feel knowledgeable enough. What do I know?
The more I learn, the more I wonder if there are really true experts in many things. There are lots of experiences, learning and action that can lead up to a wealth of knowledge, but why does that mean more than conviction of the heart?
I am in school, and grateful to be learning a lot from very knowledgeable people. The ones I learn the most from are those there to teach rather than boast their accomplishments or force their opinions. This goes for instructors and classmates equally. I am not free from guilt. I have proclaimed to be an expert at some things but really, the only one thing I am good at is me, and even that is a little questionable from time to time.
This is not an attempt to put myself or anyone else down, but rather the opposite. We live in turmoil all around us- and we have it easy compared to others. Politics, gender, religion; it is common conversation and often surrounded by controversy. It is possible that I have had my ears plugged with ignorance but it seems more prominent now than it ever has been in my lifetime. I am neither old or young but I have seen my country change. I have seen friends part ways and families torn. It is sad. However, it is why we are here. It is my belief that we came to this earth to make choices. We should help each other find our way back to live with our Heavenly Father but nonetheless, each will choose for him/herself.
I have my convictions but I have mostly kept them to my small circle- where it is safer.
I have let others fight the battles because I have more confidence in their knowledge and abilities than I do in my own. I am realizing, however, though they may accept the role of generals- they are nothing without their army backing them up.
As a child I would sneak through the dark hallways of night to rest comfortably on the floor by my parent's bed. There, and there alone did I feel safe. Now, I find myself holding my children tight wondering if they are afraid but too afraid to mention it for fear I'll pass it on to them. Then, a wonderful thing happened. I had panic attacks. In themselves, they are no vacation but the result has been a life changer. When I felt scared and alone and nobody could take it away, my Savior reminded me that he is always by my side. I have been reminded that there is a God and he loves all of His children. On a personal level and in general, He expects me to rise to my potential and test the strengths he has given me. Surrounding my home with peace and love goes beyond my walls. I feel a sense of security having everyone about me, but it is also important for us to be out in the world. My children are amazing and strong spirited. They have a lot to offer the world and the world still has a lot to offer us. With our Savior near, I need not fear. We have a sign above our front door that reminds us as we leave our fortress, "In God We Trust." This country was ordained by him through good men and women who were not afraid to take a stand and speak up.
The men who signed The Constitution knowing that they would be killed if they didn't succeed did so boldly and without apology. Not all who stood up were preserved in life but understood that death was not the worst thing that could happen to them. Against all odds the new Americans won their battle, and they knew they owed it to their God. So many brave people sacrificed, spoke, rode and were hanged for their convictions yet we are now afraid to share something or speak up for fear of causing offense, myself included. In the hope of peace, we are giving up our peace and freedoms.
While I would love to sing a song and all hold hands, it isn't in our nature as human beings to always agree because we all have freedom of choice. We have to put aside the natural man and choose God and His ways. Unfortunately, too many are being persuaded otherwise.
There are terrible tragedies flooding our days but I believe God still exists and has a plan for each of us. There are good people and they are doing good things. There is a pain in the world but there is a lot more love. I believe that God never leaves anyone alone, unless they push him away. Even then, he is ready when we are. Sometimes we can be called into action and other times scared into retreat. The innocent dying at the hands of evil will affect us one way or the other- and rightfully so for we have feeling. Too often though, we (I) think of death as a wall when it is really a door and the journey continues. Lying next to what I have felt was close to death, I pleaded to my God for mercy. Not only did mercy arrive, but so have angels to perform His miracles.
John 16:33 I have
said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world
you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
God does not leave us alone. He does not forsake us and he certainly will not forsake his little children. Tragedy happens, yes, but that does not mean God is not there to ease pain and offer peace and comfort that can only come from Him. Our Savior willingly gave his life for us. He suffered in the Garden because he loves us. He felt our pain and suffering as well as our sins. If he bore it then, why would he not bear it with us now?
I speak with many events running through my mind and find myself wondering how we came to this and where we are heading. Rose-colored glasses can no longer protect us from the evils surrounding us physically or spiritually. If I (we) don't speak up for what kind of world I want to live in, even though my voice may shake a little, someone much louder will. My wishes and desires will be forsaken because I only offered them in silence and no one was there to hear me. We tell our children not to be bullies or allow themselves to be bullied, but then what are we doing? If knowledge is what I lack, then it is my responsibility to educate myself.
I may not ever be very knowledgeable in the ways of the world but that does not make me useless. I am armed with something of great significance and it is my duty to share what I have with others willing to accept it. I know that I am a child of God and that my Savior loves me. I have felt him near me and have had peace come over me that cannot be explained by temporal means. Life is hard and usually not very fair to my limited view, but as a parent I can see a slightly larger picture. I teach my kids and hope they make good decisions. Each one gets different things from me but they all get what they need, when they need it. I have to let them scrape their knees and get hurt feelings sometimes. I watch them struggle and I watch them grow. Most of all, I get to love them, unconditionally through the ups and downs. This is what our Heavenly Father gives to us. He teaches, lets go and stands with open arms and unlimited supplies of band aids.
There is no need to be afraid, ashamed or timid. If I want a peaceful world I have to take part in it because if I don't, someone else with perhaps different ideas will. I don't understand all of God's ways or reasons, but I accept them because I understand that He loves us as only a perfect parent can and that's reason enough for me.
1 comment:
My voice tends to quiver too, when I'm full of emotion. But I'm glad you're speaking up! You're an expert in more things than you give yourself credit for.
Post a Comment