Show and Tell

Some people might think of it as Parent Teacher Conferences, SEP’s or another more politically correct name. I refer to it as Show and Tell. You see- people go to a zoo to see the wild animals up close and while some detest this display, I argue that how else is a child to view and appreciate non-domesticated animals without traveling far and taking a safari… something that is far out of the budget for your typical field trip. Well, my show and tell’s are very similar- how else can one fully appreciate my wild animals unless I occasionally take them out in public. This time it was the classroom for only 7 minutes of what that teacher assumed would be a simple visit…

“Ok guys- it’s raining so be careful where you… Tiger- get out of the mud. Puppy, hurry honey- we’re getting soaked. Monkey- leave your hat on and Rhino can you please open the door- no- that one--- no the other one… here- “
“Rhino- why did you bring your stick- let me hold it; I don’t want to get in trouble by the principal again.”

“Sit down kids- we’re waiting our … TIGER! You get back here! Rhino- hold monkey, no sit down and wait right here for me- TIGER!”
“Nope- you have to stay with mom… Ok fine- I’m holding you then.”

“Hello, yes I’m (Rhino’s) mom- nice to me- Tiger- sit down please- no- don’t climb the skeleton; monkey get off of the piano please. Rhino, Puppy can you guys be good leaders?”

“So he’s doing OK in reading what about- Tiger, get your hands out of that water”
“Monkey, puppy- leave the balls in the bucket- Rhino, can you please read sisters a story- Tiger get your hands out of that water!”

“So then what about Math... it’s not his favorite subject?” Oh my goodness… what is that smell? MONKEY!
“I am so sorry- hold on a second. Tiger come sit down and earn your French fries, Rhino- please just stay here, Puppy I need you to sit down and Monkey- oh my goodness you stink- sit down over there… I’m almost finished guys- hold on for me.”
“I’d like to come in and help out if I can…” (yeah- you should have seen the look on teacher’s face after that one )“...So you’ll just let me know then--- TIGER- put the fish back in the water!”

“Thanks for your time… sorry about the mess, and the smell and the – oh- just leave it? OK- well thanks anyway- wait, where’s monkey- kids find monkey”
“Monkey- don’t leave without mom- no- put that diaper back on, oh gross! Rhino can you- TIGER!… wait for mom- Puppy- hurry honey- Tiger’s running to the car!”
“Tiger. Not in the mud!”

So you see- we SHOW our true colors and then expect everyone who sees us to TELL their neighbors how crazy we are!
It’s one of those times that all of the animals go mad- but who doesn’t love a trip to the Zoo?