My Immortal- the first year is Published!

I did it. What started as a way for me to record my life with my children has turned into my first published book.

I have written a few books, all have been turned down by publishers. I wasn't a person of interest one company told me. Another said I did not have enough titles behind my name and another did not even ask to read my manuscripts once they learned I was a new comer and had no famous connections.

I'm sorry- I thought I was marketing my writing, not my friends... Apparently I really was young and naive.

Looking back, I am glad I was not published. Not that I would change anything about what I've written but because it gave me the chance to see what I really was made of. I had a hard time writing after each letter of apology. I doubted if I'd ever write anything that would be of interest to anyone other than my own mother (love you mom!).

A year ago, I started writing for me. I always write with an audience in mind but this time it was the older version of myself and my children. I let others in on the secret because I love my life so much. I find so much joy in my children and job and could not consider myself grateful if I did not share. I recorded everyday memories as well as the once in a lifetime moments. It was a way to share my every day... and to perhaps blackmail my children years from now...

The book came in the mail today. It still really only means something to me. It's self published without the approval of a professional editor and probably has the mistakes to prove it; It'll never be a new york times best seller, but that's what makes it a limited edition.

Of course the wild animals got to the book before I did. They absolutely love getting packages in the mail and race to discover their contents regardless of who's name is on there. After fighting like a two year old and yelling out that it was my book, mine- I remembered that I was the mom and composed myself. I proudly showed them the book that they were a part of and once they realized it mostly words they lost interest. I wiped the fingerprints from the cover and put the new treasure on the book shelf... the very top of the book shelf. I debated wrapping it in plastic or putting an alarm on it but wondered if that was borderline obsessive... I guess it's fine for now.

While editing my posts and adding some pictures that Rhino drew for me- I was amazed at how many of those tales I'd already forgotten about. I spent hours reading about the life that I had a front row seat to and was reminded just how lucky I am.

96 pages! I couldn't believe it! No wonder it took me two days to edit. And you guys really read this stuff every week? Wow- you must be real friends to be that dedicated- and a sincere apology to all of those hours spent reading about my crazy life! I'll make a mental note not to be so long winded this next year... but who am I kidding? It takes me three paragraphs just to say hello! I love to talk and I love to write... as you can probably tell- this "hey I got published" has already turned itself into a chapter!

There is something about writing that makes you feel immortal!

So, thank you to all of you (whoever you are) that support me in this journey. I write for me and my children but gain so much strength knowing that I am not alone. Documenting our lives lets us grow closer- goodness! We're practically reading each others' journals! The fact is, we all have strengths, we all have weaknesses and we all need someone to share our lives with. I am glad to have shared my last year first on this blog and now in a book that can be passed down.

After Tiger was born, I started writing to be successful. (I even planned what I would say to Oprah but don't tell that to too many people.) In my own silly ways, I wanted my children to know that their mother was somebody. But now, ten years later, I don't need a publisher's or anyone Else's approval to write what's in my heart. Stories are meant to be told. And my children will always be my greatest success! Because of them- I have a mission, meaning, meltdowns and miracles. They're a wild bunch and they are all mine (yeah Oprah... you shut down your show just a little too soon...) I'd heard it before but finally experienced it for myself. To lose yourself in service to others is the best way to find who you've always been waiting to become. I'd still like to do without so many years of cleaning up poop but if that's what it takes, I'd do it again... I think.

In addition to compulsive storytelling, I'm a succor for hardcover books- even in this digital world. I love the smell, the look and the feel of the pages. Old, new, original or copied- I love to collect words! Now, I have added my own words to my growing collection and it's a beautiful feeling.

Did I mention how good my book looks on my shelf? :) I think I'll go walk past it again.. just one more time...