Bowling with a Side of Fries-

When I started homeschooling the kids I also decided that I wanted to read the scriptures with the kids as well. I'll write that story in a novel post of it's own someday but for now I'll just get on with it... you're welcome.

It just so happened that with starting, stopping and even throwing in a summer vacation, we read our final pages of the children's edition of the Book of Mormon on my anniversary- since none of them got me a gift it was the least they could do. To celebrate such a feat- we decided to go somewhere we could be destructive and not be asked to leave!

I don't know if you've ever been bowling at the zoo but I can tell you a little bit about what it's like taking the zoo bowling.

Excitement everywhere. We couldn't wait for Mr. Zookeeper to just get home already. We love the fact that he has a job and pays for us to do fun things but geez, it sure does get in the way of our fun sometimes! Moving forward.

We get there and I immediatly lay down the law that we are there to bowl and not play lazer tag or other conveniently placed arcade games. Mr. Zookeeper pays, I can't watch so I start ordering our shoe sizes. After putting everyone's shoes on I realize why we run barefoot. I exchange 3 pairs of shoes and then exchange another 2 pairs. Finally, we'll all dressed. Time to get balls. It doesn't matter what that giant number on the front of the ball says or means, they all choose according to color. Monkey has an 11 lb purple ball, Puppy a 7 lb pink ball, Tiger lugs around the 10 lb orange one, which he insisted on holding and Rhino settled for the 9 lb teal ball that matched his shirt.

All is well and after the second frame, we realize that this is going to take forever! The kids were already getting antsy and Tiger started bowling in the empty lanes. Mr. Zookeeper paid for two rounds so he asked the kind young man (who will probably think hard before having children of his own after helping us)to give us two lanes so we could bowl simultaneously. It took me about five minutes to understand what we were doing but I can be taught and caught on after Mr. Zookeeeper spoke slowly and used his hands and slow movements to demonstrate the new set up. He would help two kids on one side and then bowl himself while I did the same thing on the other side and then we'd switch sides. So basically, we had two full games going at once so no one was waiting long. If I had arranged it, I would have just put boys on one lane and girls on the other... but who needs simple, right?

Mr. Zookeeper and I were constantly bent over carrying balls that were too heavy for its user but so pretty. Luckily there were assisting thingy-s,k the racks you put the ball on and push then it goes down the lane, smacks the bumpers and knocks over all but 3 pins. Those kept me from having to granny shot on top of the children so I was grateful for those... I bet they have a name, whoever invented that definitely had children (or was a worker that had to constantly go get balls that weren't thrown hard enough).

Thirsty, Mr. Zookeeper knows he cannot get a drink without sharing. So he comes back with a water bottle and five straws. Okay, I guess we're all sharing that one, then? A few minutes later two ladies showed up with a root beer for each of us, sorry we drank all of your water honey- you should have said something about the straws...

Switch.

Everyone's having fun and no one can sit still. Puppy insists on getting nothing but a spare. Her strike really upset her because she didn't get the chance to get a spare that time. Rhino really wanted to bowl like his dad, but after carrying the ball on his own he realized it wasn't that cool to bowl like a grown up. Monkey didn't care about the 5 strikes and numerous spares her 11 lb ball took out but she sure squealed and got excited every time it popped out of the ball return. Tiger, wait, where did Tiger go?

Those places know what they're doing with advertising. Though the snack bar was off to the side, Tiger found out. Apparently he was tired of watching the screens all around us pop up with burger and fry combo meals because I found him sitting at the snack bar yelling orders to ladies behind the counter.

Tiger returned and took his turn bowling but he seemed too calm for Mr. Zookeeepr just bringing him back from the snack bar empty handed. Ah, that's it. His french fries took time to cook and were now being delivered... I am much meaner than my counterpart... but it worked out in everyone's favor since they decided it was okay to share.

Only 7 frames done, are you kidding me? I couldn't even focus on my own score because I was trying to keep everyone moving without breakdown or injuries.

"Monkey- get your head out of the ball return!"

There was a young couple bowling next to us that appeared to be courting. They smiled, giggled and were constantly encouraging and coaching the other (dead give away- when I play my spouse, it's for blood!). Anyway, I kept apologizing for our children taking their balls, seats and almost their food but they never said anything, they just smiled. My guess is we saved them from going anywhere close to third base that night...

The fries were all gone so Tiger took note as to what else was offered on the screen. He was now offering good behavior to earn pizza...

Finally we made it to the tenth frame on our first lane. Just trying to get done and end happily, I threw my ball and hoped for the best. A strike! Okay, let's do that again. What, really? I had no idea I could do that twice in a row. I did get cheated on my third try though as one pin stood, laughing at me or so it seemed. An even score of 100. Monkey bowled a 79 and Puppy an 83. Mr. Zookeeper almost won with a 96, Rhino did 75 and Tiger got an 89. We raced to finish the second lane and get home for dinner before Tiger ordered the whole left side of the snack bar menu and Rhino caught on that they sold dinner.

Everyone bowled well and overall did great (we didn't hit any one else with our balls, just their pins). The boys tried hard but could not bowl over the sound of the girls' awesomeness! We all bowled better in the second lane and Monkey, along with her pretty purple ball took the grand prize home with a 119.

You'd think it would have been a moment of gladness. Not every child gets to go bowling, get soda and french fries but instead of gratitude and delight I had to carry out a screaming Tiger that didn't get enough french fries and pizza and talk to a Rhino about how we went there to bowl, not eat. Monkey didn't want to return her ball but eventually gave in and Puppy was just happy to get those hurting shoes off (Monkey might have been grateful for that too but she took hers off in the third frame).

Another day, another experience out with the wild. I love spending time with my family but the next time we try bowling I think we'll do one lane, one time and eat french fries before we go...